I AM FREE!!!!!

Today’s surgery went splendidly! I’m home, resting, and feeling fabulous.

Aside from the burning sensation when I … you know … pee.

Cause it hurts.


I’ll leave you to figure out why.

But on the flip side, I am now 100% STONE FREE. And 100% Stent free. FREE, I TELL YOU! Which means I can go back to living a normal life again.

As soon as this burning sensation subsides.

Thank God for drugs!

P.S. Thanks to Scott for guest blogging for me on Tuesday. While it isn’t exactly true that I am buds with O.J. Simpson or Osama bin Laden, I want to warn all of you dear readers (and voters) about an unholy alliance I have uncovered between our dear Mr. O-Rama and kooky Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez. See for yourself… if you dare:

Spare us this atrocity! Vote for RcktMan’s Launching Pad for Best Personal GLBT Blog!

What a pity… what a shame

For the five of you reading this… and the two of you following baseball…

The Arizona Diamondbacks lost in SPECTACULAR fashion to the Colorado Rockies.

Spectacular in that they didn’t WIN any games at all. They completely collapsed. Fell apart.

Just like the Cubs did in the first round of the playoffs.

When the Cubs entered the playoffs, I foolishly (and cockily) placed a bet with Scott-O-Rama. I bet him that if the Cubs won the series, Scott would come to Chicago and pose in front of Wrigley Field in Cubs regalia giving the #1 sign. And if the Diamondbacks won, I would do the same in Arizona.

Scott countered that bet by requesting that I dress in a cheerleader’s outfit in front of Chase Park. I added a Teddy Bear outfit in front of Wrigley Field for Scott if the Cubs won.

Of course, I lost, and Scott reveled in my loss.

But all was not lost… Howard of The Web Pen Blog, who lives in Denver and was responsible for the whole cheerleader outft idea in the first place, placed a NEW bet with Scott: If the Rockies won the series, I was absolved of my penance, and Scott would write a post on both my and Howard’s blogs with a subject of our choosing. If the Diamondbacks won, Howard had to wear the cheerleader’s outfit in Arizona.

So to make a long story short (too late!), Scott will be appearing here on Thursday. I expect the post to be ULTRA SNARKY and maybe even a touch bitter. After all, I don’t know what’s worse– crashing and burning in the first place, or crashing and burning after beating the Cubs? Hell, the Cubs didn’t have much of a chance from the start. Arizona had a really good chance, and they BLEW IT BIG TIME.

So, Scott… what do you have to say? I won’t give you any guidelines. You probably wouldn’t follow them anyway.

Postscript: I would like to add that this is all in fun. Nothing said here is to be taken personally, and nothing Scott will say tomorrow will be taken personally. I think.

Second Postscript… or Post-Postscript.  Or PPS.  Or SPS. Anyway… Scott will not be here tomorrow.  Apparently he has to work on HIS schedule, not mine.  Whatev.  I’ll be waiting for you, Scottie. 🙂 

Gloating is SO unattractive

Scott is really getting on my nerves.

But, then, so are the Cubs.

I never watched the game.  I couldn’t bear to do it.  I did check the score on the Chicago Tribune website, and had it on the radio when I ran some errands.  All throughout the day, I received text messages from Mr. O-Rama, the faceless wonder of Phoenix.  And as the game went on, each message got snarkier and snarkier.

And my responses got more and more pointed…

Here’s the sequence of events:

10/6/07 at 5:48 PM: Ed’s bf Todd is flying thru Chicago right now.  Should he stop by to pick you & your cheerleading outfit up?

My response: Bite me!

10/6/07 at 8:22 PM: What flight can I expect you on?

My response: None– I was driving to the grocery store at the time.

10/6/07 at 8:32 PM: Is that the fat lady singing?

My response: Are you calling me fat?

10/6/07 at 8:43 PM: Not you sweetie, but how does that cheerleading uniform fit?

My response: I am NOT wearing a cheerleading uniform.. I don’t even have one!

10/6/07 at 8:46 PM: That’s OK, we’ll get you one, and I do believe it [was] in writing where you agreed.

My response: Sigh.. Yes.  Howard is a dead man. 🙂

And finally, this lovely bit of advice from the lover of the Snakes himself, on his current post:

P.S. I hope my tough love is teaching you something: You can cheer for the Cubs, but don’t ever expect them to win.  They’ll break your heart every time.

Yes, Scott, thank you so much for your concern and your “tough love” as you put it.  I am a Cubs fan, therefore I am subjecting myself to instant and immediate heartbreak and sorrow.  Well you know what?  That’s what’s different about a loyal fan vs. a fair-weather fan.  A loyal fan sticks with their team through thick and thin, right and wrong, win or lose.  A fair-weather fan bails as soon as he (or she) sees that all hope is lost.

Sure, I didn’t watch the game because I knew it wasn’t going to go well.  That doesn’t mean I didn’t care.  That doesn’t mean I still didn’t support my team, and it sure as hell doesn’t mean I won’t support them next year.  I will.  And I expect them to win– one of these days.

In the meantime, I’ll be wiping my tears with my crying towel and drowning my sorrows with spirits.

And of course, I’ll end all the wailing with the old phrase:  “Wait ’til next year!”

P.S. – Good luck against the Colorado RockiesBwahahahahahahahaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Go Cubs Go! — And a CHALLENGE!

The Cubbies!

Go Cubs Go!

Go Cubs Go!

Hey Chicago, whaddya say?

The Cubs are gonna win today!

–Go Cubs Go! by Steve Goodman, 1984

So this is it. The Chicago Cubs are in another pennant race– the 5th time in my lifetime. Somewhere, way up above the skies, my Dad and “Grandma” Madge are having quite a celebration. They’re probably also pulling as many strings as they can. My Dad pretty much vowed that he would do that once he was gone. So something feels really good about this.

It’s been a heck of a year for the Cubs. They started out with a new manager and a terrible previous season record. They went for a couple months in last place before something started to turn around for them, and they steadily began to climb up the rankings of the National League Central Division, eventually usurping the Milwaukee Brewers and staying there for most of the rest of the year. Some are calling them the “Miracle Cubs.” Some say it was just luck. I say… wait and see.

Tonight is the first game of the division playoffs, and the Cubs are playing the Arizona Diamondbacks.

Yes… Arizona. Home of cacti, desert storms, and Scott-O-Rama.

Now one would think that since Scott and I are friends, we would be handling this like the adults we think we are.

Guess again.

I’d like to place a wager on this series.

If the Cubs win the series (and of course, they will), Scott and Buckaroo have to fly to Chicago, dress in Cubs regalia, and take their picture in front of the Wrigley Field sign showing “Thumbs-up.”. Those of you who read Scott’s blog know that this would be a great challenge, for Scott and Buckaroo haven’t shown their faces once in all the time Scott has been blogging. Naturally, if the Cubs win, the photo will be published on my blog.

If the Diamondbacks win the series, I will fly to Phoenix and dress up in Diamondbacks regalia and stand in front of Chase field, giving the “Thumbs-up” sign. The photo will be published on Scott’s blog.

I welcome Scott’s inupt on this. He may offer to revise the challenge, and I may counter. But we will come up with a pact before it’s all over.

So, Scott… are you up for it?

Oh and by the way….


UPDATE:  Oh yes… it’s ON!  Scott has accepted the challenge, and is requesting assistance from his (far greater) readership to elicit a much harsher penance on me, SHOULD the Diamondbacks win the series.  Yes, I know, the Cubs lost tonight, but they played hard against the Diamondbacks’ ace.  Let’s see how things go in the next few games before we proclaim the series won.

And Scott, the Cubs’ jerseys are classic and tasteful.  The D’backs’ logo and jerseys have never been attractive in my eyes.  After all, didn’t we learn in the Bible that you should never… EVER… trust a snake?

So what much harsher penance should Scott receive should the Cubs win the series?  Help me out here, folks… this (friendly) war is just beginning!