I Try (A Lyrical Parody)

Cover of "I Try Pt. 2"
Cover of I Try Pt. 2

I was just going through some old papers and found this parody lyric that I wrote while I was working at Crate & Barrel (it’s on Crate stationery) in probably 2000 or 2001. Pretty funny. It wasn’t finished so I added some more lyrics. Of course, given my current weight loss/diet status, this is not exactly true. I’m doing quite well, thank you!

(To the tune of Macy Gray’s “I Try”)

Weight gainin’ again
Can’t seem to lose it now
When will it stop?
I believe that fate
Chose me to be
Bigger than an elephant… elephant!

I burn it off but I gain it all back
I lose my cool ’cause I’m dreamin’

I try to drink Slim Fast but I choke
I try to walk a mile but I stumble
My clothes may try to hide it, but it’s clear
I’m too weak for a diet, I fear

I tried out Jenny Craig but I quit
I tried Seattle Sutton but I’m broke
Weight Watchers wouldn’t take me, it’s clear
I’m much better off fatter my dear.

I may appear to be sane
But I’m just a prisoner of my glut
I may seem alright, and smile when I eat
But my smiles are just a front
Just a front

I eat it all while I’m dreaming of you
My pants are so tight that I’m dizzy

I try to drink Slim Fast but I choke
I try to walk a mile but I stumble
My clothes may try to hide but, but it’s clear
I’m too weak for a diet, I fear

I tried out Jenny Craig but I quit
I tried Seattle Sutton but I’m broke
Weight Watchers wouldn’t take me, it’s clear
I’m much better off fatter my dear.

Food is my obsession
When I’m in possesion
I love it so much
Candies, cakes and such
With all my might I try
But I just can’t deny
Deny….

I burn it off but I gain it all back
I lose my cool ’cause I’m dreamin’

I try to drink Slim Fast but I choke
I try to walk a mile but I stumble
My clothes may try to hide but, but it’s clear
I’m too weak for a diet, I fear

I tried out Jenny Craig but I quit
I tried Seattle Sutton but I’m broke
Weight Watchers wouldn’t take me, it’s clear
I’m much better off fatter my dear.

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Project Campit Runway- Part 2

The designing adventures continued at Campit later that night, when we all dressed up in our new fancy new tie-dyed shirts and varous other additions for Campit’s big 30-year anniversary party.

Since 70s and disco were the themes for the night, some of us came up with some pretty outrageous ideas to add to the festivities.  Rommel donned a massive Afro wig and tight shorts with “Chicago” on the backside.

Ricardo, of course, couldn’t resist to claim the design as his own and plead his case to the Project Campit Runway crew.  I have some concerns, Ricardo, and so does Tim Gunn.  This might be Auf Wiedersehn for you…

Watch and see how it turned out!

Project Campit Runway- Part 1

This past weekend, my friends and I went for one last “Summer fling” to Campit, the gay campground in Saugatuck, MI.  It was a short weekend, but it was a lot of fun.

When my friend Kevin showed up to drive me there at 6:30 in the morning, I hadn’t slept at all the night before– partially out of nerves but mostly out of stupidity– and when we loaded up his car, I inadvertently forgot to grab the tension poles for my tent.

So when I arrived at Campit and started unloading my tent, and found no poles… I figured I’d be sleeping in the car.

Luckily, my friends Ricardo and Jeff devised a way for me to still use my tent, and still sleep comfortably.

Here’s Ricardo’s explanation of the thought that went into their creation:

Tomorrow, Ricardo’s costume creation for our friend Rommel at the 70’s Celebration later that night.

Sesame Moments: Monsterpiece Theatre- The Sound of Music

Hi-ho… still on my little hiatus, but I had a few Sesame Moment videos queued up, so I figured I’d share them– rather than keep things dormant. So here we go!

Alastair Cookie introduces the classic musical “The Sound of Music,” starring Grover in Lederhosen, waiting for The Sound of Music. When he hears it, hilarious things happen!

Sesame Moments: Monsterpiece Theatre

Ahhh… the class. The regality. Add Cookie Monster to the mix, and you have hilarity!

Sesame Street did a spot-on take on the classic PBS show “Masterpiece Theatre” with its take-off, “Monsterpiece Theatre” in the 1970s and 1980s. Cookie, as Alastair Cookie, dressed in a smoking jacket (with a pipe in the earlier episode shown below), and introduced such classics as “Upstairs, Downstairs” and “Twelve Angry Men” in only the way Sesame Street could show them. Here are those two clips…