Hello, yeah, it’s been a while…

Last post: October, 2011.

Yikes.  I really gave up on this place, didn’t I?

At least this is still here.  I somehow managed to keep it alive, even though I haven’t posted anything.

So I guess my first question is, what’s the purpose of having a blog anymore, especially if you’re an independent, personal blogger?  Blogging is very different today than it was in 2004, when I first started blogging.  Back then, it was the “new thing” that everyone was doing.  This was pre-Facebook, pre-Twitter, heck even pre-MySpace.  There were no Social Networks around to keep everyone connected.  They were in development, to be sure — I think Friendster was just starting out at the time (remember that?) — and old-time bloggers will remember Tribe, which was a very early precursor to all that came later.

When Facebook started, you had to keep your posts to the (fairly common) standard of 140 characters, just like Twitter.  However today, you can post full articles.  Most bloggers prefer to do their blogging on Facebook– it’s easier to maintain, all of your readers are already “friends,” and you don’t have to republish anything.  The drawback, of course, is that you can’t attract new readers from outside your friend ‘circle’ unless you make your posts public and hope that it gets shared to the point it goes viral.  It’s a rare thing, but it does happen from time to time.

I decided to use Facebook in this way for the last year.  I grew tired of having to bounce back and forth from platform to platform when I wanted to get long-winded about something.  My friends who read this blog (there aren’t many of you left) will probably back me up when I say I let my long-windedness fly free on Facebook lately, and that’s exactly why.

But all the while, I thought about my lonely blog, sitting here, still getting hits (occasionally) and waiting for me to come back and write again.  I tried to restart it a few times.  I currently have seven draft posts that never made it past the third or fourth paragraph sitting my in my drafts folder.  Titles included:

  • Dusting it off
  • Re-Launching… AGAIN.
  • I still own this blog.
  • What Whitney Meant (started right after Whitney Houston died)
  • Back on the wagon (about starting back at the gym)
  • 2011 – A Better Year (a year-end post that got way too long-winded, so I gave up on it)
  • 41 (about my 41st birthday)

So I guess I didn’t completely abandon this blog– I just never really got through a post to get it going again.  I’m hoping that I finish this one.  It’d be nice to hit “publish again.

After I lost my job in July, I figured it’d be good to restart the blog so I could write out my frustrations and feelings.  Or just have a place to let my creative juices flow again.  Didn’t quite pan out that way at the time, but now, six months later, I need it again.  So here we are.

So where will we go from here?  Hard to say.  Now that the writing cherry has been popped (sorry for the visual), hopefully ideas and words will flow more freely.  I’ll take less space on Facebook and more space here, and simply express myself.

And hopefully, I will figure some things out in the meantime.

Oh, by the way… Happy New Year!

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Missed connections – years apart

Missed ConnectionsIn the past few days, I’ve had a couple of missed connections return into my life after many years.

The first was a guy I talked about in a post on this blog, and in my brief life as a podcaster. We met at a bar and hit it off great. We were going to get together for a date, but one roadblock came up after another, and we never did go out. We did remain friends though, and he ended up in a relationship.

A couple of days ago, I found that old podcast file and listened to it again. First, I thought how glad I was that I didn’t continue as a podcaster— It really wasn’t my forte. But second, I got to wondering about this guy and what was up with him.

The next day… the VERY next day… he signed up for an audition with the chorus.

Now is the universe telling me something? I don’t know. But I’m interested to see what happens here.

The second missed connection was a guy I met on gay.com many years ago. He lived in Chicago and then moved to Hawaii for a while. I found him recently on a, ahem, gay-related site, and we chatted and texted back and forth for most of the day. We might be getting together soon.

What’s with all these years-apart missed connections coming back into my life? I’m intrigued by this latest universal intervention. We shall see how it all plays out.

Seven-Year Blogoversary (For Real)

Back in March, I wrote a nice little post about how I was celebrating my Seven-Year-Blogoversary.  I wrote it, checked it, and posted it.  I even got a few comments.

And then I did something I thought was silly at the time– I checked back on my blog to the very first post, and something occurred to me.

I was wrong.  My Blogoversary wasn’t until July.

Oops!

Down came the post, and into the drafts folder (with the hundred or so other drafts I either started and never finished, or wrote and thought were not good enough for posting) it went.

Well that day has finally come.  Seven years ago, I fired up the old Compaq, found my way to Blogger, and started a blog.  It wasn’t much then, and truth be told, it isn’t much now– but it was, and is, mine.

I actually forgot that I had started my blog in 2004, when blogging was just starting to gain popularity.  Back then, even Perez Hilton, Andy Towle and Arianna Huffington were mere blips on the blogosphere.  Feast of Fools/Fun had not even begun to podcast (and podcasting had not even been invented).  JoeMyGod was just another up-and-coming gay blogger.

Some of my favorite bloggers are still around, like Tuna Girl, Pua, Scott and Jake (my true-blue Blog Daddy).  Others who have left their blogs behind I have reconnected with on Facebook.  A few have disappeared into thin air.  While we’re still in touch for the most part, I can’t help but have sentimental thoughts about those days on Tribe, (yes, it’s still there!) when the community was really starting to take off.  Those were magical, exciting times.  I’m proud to have been a part of it.

I’m glad I’m still here, too.  It’s nice to have a place where I can look back and remember things I did, people I met, and places I went.

You never know, someday I may need those reminders.

Welcome!

Hello there!  Glad you found me here…

I will be moving my blog here permanently as of September 1. All of my posts and (eventually) all of my comments will be moving here as well.

I decided to close my blog at my hosted WordPress.org site because I just wasn’t using it anymore, and frankly, it didn’t make sense for me to continue paying for the bandwidth and storage when I wasn’t using it. I guess this means I have finally sounded the death knell on my blogging experiment. Well, almost.

You see, I have noticed that I am using Facebook more and more for my blogging needs. Everyone I knew from my blog is there, my friends are there, my family is there, and even a lot of my old schoolmates are there. It just made sense to pay attention to one thing instead of spreading it all about numerous things. Blogging has evolved, and it’s turned into something completely different than when it started. It’s much more content-rich and interactive than it ever was. And it includes things like Facebook and Twitter. Those are the places where my enthusiasm lie these days, so why not just pay attention to that?

Of course, WordPress.com is free, so I can, and may, still post here. And I am keeping my rcktman.com domain name. Which will be extra handy, because when everything is done, you no longer will have to add the “/blog” – just type “www.rcktman.com” to get here.

But even though this is the “end,” it’s still sort of sad. My blog has been there for me through a lot of good and bad times. And those who read it were there the whole time through. I’ll miss those early days, when we were a new and exciting community, just starting out. But I’m thankful that those who were a part of the community then are still a part of my world today.

So this is not the end. It is not goodbye. It’s just… a transition.

And that’s where I’ll leave things for now.

Resurrection (Part 1)

I know what you’re thinking.

“I’m leaving!” “I’ll be seeing you.” “I’ll be around.” “Don’t miss me too much.” “Blah blah blah blah blah.”

Yeah, I know. I said it was forever. I said I was done, I was moving on, and I was through.

And I know I said I had a lot of things going on and I needed to cut things out to concentrate on things that mattered. I know, I said it.

Turns out, however, that this mattered too.

Truth be told, when I shut this blog down, I was entering a very dark period in my life. Ironically though, I didn’t even know it at the time.

In my last post, I said that I was moving, and I needed to concentrate on that whole process, as well as focus my energy on new tasks that had come before me. All of that was true, and is still true as of this writing. In fact, as of this moment I have still NOT moved.

I hope you have a few minutes.

My intention at the outset was to move in with a friend and share a two- or three-bedroom apartment. I wanted to cut expenses and possibly save some money for the first time in a very long time. When I wrote my goodbye here, that plan was pretty well-set, and things were looking pretty good.

But on March 1, that all changed.

Just a couple days before March 1, I had informed my landlord that I was moving a month early. My future roommate was already scoping out places, and we were set to start looking at them and getting things squared away. When I told her the situation, she was fine with it; knowing how difficult things had become for me at this location, and how I needed to start cutting back. Plus it would give her time to make whatever renovations needed to be made here (and there are plenty, believe me) in time for a new tenant to move in for May 1.

But when I woke up the morning of Saturday, March 1, I got an Email from my future roommate, telling me that he had to back out of the plan. He had recently experienced some changes in his life, and decided it was better for him to live on his own. He was sorry for putting me in a bad spot, but he had made his decision.

While I understood his reasons– he had told me what happened about a week prior to his Email, which I am not going to repeat here– to say it put me in a bad spot was grossly understated. I had a full-out panic attack. Here I was, a month before my move-out date… a month earlier than I had previously expected… and I had no roommate, no apartment, and nothing in the works. I was back at square one, and it was not a good feeling.

I called my landlord back and told her the situation, but she said she had made preparations to start reconditioning my unit, so she wanted to stay with April 1. I was stuck. I couldn’t stay any longer. I had to move.

(Part 2 tomorrow)