Well Hello!

Howdy! It’s been a while since I’ve actually written anything here. The last week or so has been so incredibly busy I haven’t had much time to do anything except work, come home, and crash from exhaustion. Hopefully this coming week will be better.

So how about some updates? Great idea, right? Well here we go:

1. I never wrote him back.
2. I’m broke. At least until pay day. Which is next Tuesday.
3. I’ve been pretty healthy overall.
4. Autumn has arrived in Chicago. Brr! Time to break out the sweaters!
5. The Cubs are starting the playoffs tomorrow. Yay!
6. I watched the debates on Friday. Obama did well, but I wish he’d stop agreeing with McCain and get a whole lot tougher.
7. McCain whistles while he talks. He needs better denture adhesive.
8. Tina Fey is a goddess.

9. I forgot that this was about me, sorry.
10. The Chorus show is coming along nicely. I have an audition this week.. wish me luck!
11. My favorite TV shows have started up again… thank goodness for the fall season.
12. I’m still not dating anyone.
13. This looks like it’s quickly turning into a “100 Things About Me” list. It’s not, I promise.

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Satellite

While cleaning out a closet yesterday, I found this poem that I wrote a few years ago. It was inspired by a story my ex told me just before he went into rehab; just before everything ended between us.

I thought I had lost this a long time ago. It’s somewhat coincidental that I found it… seeing as today is my ex’s birthday.

So, wherever you are… this one’s for you.

Satellite

As I laid on a rock
At the edge of the water,
I looked up into the night sky.

There I saw it.

A lonely satellite.
Moving steadily,
Swiftly,
Smoothly
Across the night sky.
Orbiting the earth,
Its blinking light
In constant search of
Something…
But never reaching its end.

Constant… continual.

How lonely it must be,
I thought,
To be up there,
Circling the earth,
Looking down upon it.

And then I thought,
How beautiful it must be
To be so high
So far removed
So peaceful.
Oh, how I could think up there.
How I could solve my problems
With no interruptions…
No distractions…
No compulsions…
To change my course.

Oh, what a marvelous view!
To see the world
From this perspective.

How insignificant I seem!
When viewed at that height.

But how wonderful is life!
When you see the full picture.

The satellite moved on
And drifted off into the horizon.
I awoke from my dream
Gazing into the stars
And at once felt peace.
I knew my quest had just begun.

No matter how lonely,
No matter how insignificant,
I am a part of this beautiful world.
I must make myself matter,
If only to me.
I must love myself,
As well as others.

And I must do it
Today.

An ode to a dying iPod

My iPodOh dear, sweet iPod.

We have had such wonderful times together.

I remember the day I brought you home.  You were so shiny.  So new.  So exciting.

You came out of your box and seemed to beckon, “Play me.  Fill me with music.  Take me wherever you go.  Make me a part of your life, forever and ever.”

So I heeded your call, and we’ve been inseparable ever since.

But lately, you’ve begun to show your age.

It all started on that drive to my mom’s house a few months ago.  You froze in the middle of a song– probably some 70’s disco tune– and I freaked out.  I figured it was just a glitch, and restarted you.. but I just got the “Sad iPod” icon.  I was crushed.  Lost.  Alone in the world.

When you miraculously started up again an hour or so later, I figured that whatever had gone wrong had fixed itself.  But I was wrong.  As time went on, the occurrences became more frequent– once every week, then once every other day.  Then every day.

Now I fear, the end is near.  You play half of a song and skip to the next one.  You won’t play when I hit “Play.”  And worst of all, you won’t sync anymore.  I’ve restarted, restored, reinstalled, resetted and retried everything more than once.  Nothing is working.

So, I believe our time together is coming to a close.

I must do something with you.  I’m glad I got that extended warranty on you… so I’m taking you in tomorrow.  They may repair you, or they may replace you.  Either way, the magic is quickly fading in our relationship.  It’s time for me to see other iPods.  So whether or not you remain a part of my life, a newer, better model will soon be coming to take your place.

Please understand… I didn’t want it to end this way.

Thank you for your trusty service.   Fare thee well, dear iPod.

Sexual frustration

OK… I’m starting to wonder if there’s some sort of cosmic misalignment thing going on.

I haven’t had sex in a very, very, VERY long time.

I won’t even bring up how long it’s been since I’ve had a date.

I’ve had dry spells before, but this is ridiculous.

I think I’ve lost my touch with the dating world.  I’ve even lost my touch with the casual sex world.  I’ve become a hermit at the ripe young age of 35.

This just can’t be good.

The problem is, whenever I think of something new and/or different to do, I get very shy and nervous, to the point where I talk myself out of the new idea and revert back to my old ways.

Do I need help?  Is there something I can do to boost my confidence?  Someone I can talk to?

I know what you’re thinking.  But I want you to say it.  Because I need to hear read it.

God I hate all this pressure.  Why can’t life be simpler than this?