Catching up

“Hello again, hello!
Just called to say hello…”

OK it’s been a few too many days since my last post, so it’s time for a quick summary of what’s been up with me lately…

Kitchen floor

It was a disastrous mess, but it’s over.  The floor looks fantastic!  Of course it took me a few days to wash EVERY SINGLE DISH I OWN after the guys left, but now I have a new floor AND my dishes are all clean.  So what more can one ask for, right?

The twins

They are growing so fast!  Abby is 11lbs. and Emily is almost 9.  Abby is quickly becoming a little version of her daddy and Emily is looking more like her mommy.  I’m hoping to see them again in a couple weeks.  In the meantime, my sister started a new job yesterday, so we’re all hopeful that things go well for her in that area.

Dating life

Nothing new here.  Still nothing.  And nothing on the horizon.  I don’t know what will ever become of this, but I remain strangely hopeful… and with spring in full bloom (more or less), I feel even more hopeful.

Living situation

The guy who has lived in the apartment below me for the past 6 years just moved out, so now I’m starting to worry that some bitchy queen – or some bitchy bitch – will move in.  I have gotten quite used to having nobody live under me.  The guy who moved out was a flight attendant and was almost never home.  And when he was home he never once complained about me being up at all hours or my cats chasing each other at 4 in the morning.  Time will tell what happens when the new person moves in.  Maybe if I make a cinnamon swirl bread he or she will like me right away.  Hmmmm…

The earthquakes

I didn’t feel a damn thing.  Not the first time, not during the aftershocks– nothing.  I slept through all of it.  Honestly when I am sleeping the walls could be crumbling and I wouldn’t know it.  Which is a good thing, in case I end up dating a snorer.  But still, a 5.4 magnitude quake and I didn’t feel or hear ANYTHING?  Damn!


Oy vey.  Money has been a source of much head and heartache for me lately.  I and quickly trying to devise a plan to find more of it somehow.  It won’t be easy, but something has to work, and soon. Stay tuned there.

OK, that’s all I can think of for now.  I really and truly do hope to write more and more often.  But once I got behind I didn’t know where to begin to catch up.  Much like life, isn’t it?

Is there anything I left out?  If so, let me know.

I'm now reminded why I am still single…

I had a date on Sunday.  Yes… a date.  It was planned before Thanksgiving, so I revised my schedule with my mom so I could come back Saturday night, rest up and be ready for it.  It was pretty casual– we planned to meet briefly and see a movie.

I met him online, of course.  The pictures all looked good to me and we really seemed to hit it off nicely. We chatted for months… and I do mean months.  So it seemed natural that it was time for us to actually meet in person.

Unfortunately, things weren’t as good in person.

I went to get my hair cut before heading out to meet him.  They were busy and the haircut ran late.  I phoned him just as I got out– 15 minutes before the movie was to start.  Fuck.  I knew this wasn’t going to be good.   I drove as quickly as I could to the theater but it was definitely too late to see the movie.  He was waiting for me in front of the box office.

Now I should add that I have been dealing with a cold sore the last few days as well.  It showed up on Wednesday and is just about gone, but it’s still visible.  I hate those motherfuckers.  I have all the medicines in the world: Abreva, Releev, Carmex, Blistex, and so on.  Sometimes they work great, but this time it’s being difficult.  So I had that headache added to the mix.

Anyway, I got there and he was waiting for me.  And right away I could sense that things were going to go sour.  He just… didn’t talk much.  As in– hardly at all.  I asked him if he’d like to see another movie, and he turned to stare at the movie times for at least 5 minutes without saying a word.  So I asked him, “…anything look good?”

No response.

Then he said, “Well, the next showing (of the movie we were planning to see) is at 3:30 so that’s one and a half hours with nothing to do.”

Well alrighty then, Mr. Glass Half Empty!   So I said, “Well, surely there’s someplace we can go to spend the time.”

More silence… then, “Well, I’m sure there’s a Starbucks nearby.  In fact I think I saw one around the corner.”

So we left to grab a cup of coffee.   We went in, ordered our lattes, and found a seat by the window.  Once we got settled, we actually talked a bit and had some decent conversation.  But it didn’t last long.  After about 10 minutes, the silence started.

And it lingered… and lingered… and lingered.

He sipped his coffee.  I sipped mine.

Hello, awkward!

This roundelay of brief conversation and LONG silences happened at least four times, and each time the slience grew longer and longer.  By the third time I had already planned my escape.  There was a Chipotle across the street.  I was hungry and hadn’t eaten lunch yet.   When we finished our coffee and got up to leave, I would say I was going to run and grab a bite, rather than see the movie.

So when the moment arrived, he said he would like to walk through the Borders across the street for a while.  I gave him my Chipotle story (which wasn’t a lie– I truly was hungry).  He didn’t seem all that disappointed, and Lord knows I wasn’t either.

So we said our goodbyes and parted.

And so ends the first date I’ve had in at least 2 years.

The first thing I said to myself as I crossed the street is the title of this post: “I’m now reminded why I am still single.”  Dating sucks ass, and I hate it.  I am so much happier– so much better off being alone.  I have friends.  I have family.  That should be enough for me.  Screw the rest.  It’s not worth the effort, especially when it’s as painful as this was.

Aw but hell, who am I kidding?  I’ll try again when the time — and the guy — is right.


Good advice from a friend

My friend Ricardo sent this list of very helpful hints in an Email to all of our friends today. 

It’s good to have friends like Ricardo. 🙂

Free ways to make yourself look more attractive so you can get laid:
1. Ride the L instead of driving so you will run into people
2. Ride your bike along the lake and eye the cuties 3-4x/week
3. Walk/Jog along the lake and pretend you need CPR 3-4x/week
4. Reduce carbohydrates
5. Reduce sugar
6. Eliminate candy/pastries/beer from your diet
7. Sleep at least 8 hours a night
8. Join a support group
9. Join a church
10. Quit complaining

Good advice, isn’t it?  I think someone’s been reading my blog! 🙂

Blue Balls

My sex life, like my dating life, is nothing to write home about.  It’s nothing to write in a blog about, either.  Hence why I don’t write about sex very often.

So it seems that I am forced to live vicariously through the sex lives of my friends.

Lately it seems everyone is getting laid more than me.  And by more I mean anything more than once in two weeks.  Because that would be one time more in the last two weeks than I’ve had sex.

Can you tell I’m a tad sexually frustrated right now?

The online world has been extremely unkind to me lately, and I’m about ready to dump it again.  As I swiftly approach 40, I’m starting to sense that I’ve become “yesterday’s news” and overall highly un-marketable.  Sure, there are things I could do to improve my odds– join a gym, ride my bike more often, change my diet, sleep more, have liposuction– the possibilities are endless, but to do all of them requires a great deal more resources than I have on hand at the moment.

I won’t even address dating.  Anything that hasn’t happened once in the last 2 years or more should not even be brought up.

I have been getting better about getting out and doing things, however.  I went to dinner and had drinks afterward with some friends on Saturday, and did pretty much the same again on Sunday.  So that was fun.  No complaints about being cooped up all day long this time– although the weather has been so oppressively hot and humid lately it isn’t all that fun to go out during the day anymore, anyway.

But today’s post is titled “Blue Balls” because, quite frankly, I just don’t know what to do about my sexual and/or dating situation anymore.  I’m tired of empty sex.  Probably the reason why I don’t get laid so much anymore is because I don’t really even seek it out anymore.  Even when I’m online, and I see a guy to whom I am attracted, I don’t bother making a first move to say “hi” or “what’s up.”  First of all, he probably won’t reply anyway (90% of the guys online don’t), and second, if he actually IS interested in something, to hook up just for meaningless sex is so much work, and I’m tired of putting forth the effort for such a measly reward.

So I just don’t bother with it. And I sit there and grow more and more sexually frustrated, until I’m about ready to explode.

You see where this is going.

No… it’s not going to the nearby bath house.  I can’t fit one of their skimpy little towels around my fat ass anyway.

No… it’s not going to the bar with the dark and seedy “back room.” I have never been a big fan of anonymous sex.

In fact, I don’t know where this is going.  And that’s part of the problem.

I just don’t know what to do with myself.  (Sorry for the Burt Bachrach allusion.)

But I’m going to do my best to figure it out.

Hibernation over

Well that was a nice little rest.

OK, it wasn’t much of a rest.  In fact, as far as things are going, I’m still deep in the middle of all my craziness with the chorus and rehearsals and whatnot.  I just got tired of looking at my blog with no posts for almost a month.


Geez, that’s the longest I’ve gone without posting anything since I started blogging.

But it was a nice break.  And I have to admit, it wasn’t just because I was so busy.  I was also suffering from an incredibly bad case of writer’s block. 

So rather than write about not being able to write (like I am right now), I figured it would be best to step away for a while. After all, who wants to read about someone who can’t write? 

I rest my case.

So what’s been going on with me lately?  Well, I’ve gone on a date that ended disastrously, I saw a living legend in concert, I’ve been sick, I’ve rediscovered my love for piano bars, and I’ve become a bit of a Karaoke king.  All the while keeping up with my usual duties as “Daddy” to my cats, rehearsing with the chorus, and tending to my mom and family. 

Really, not that much different than any other three-week period in my life.  Aside from the date, of course– which I’ll get to at a later time. 

It’s good to be back, though.  And it’s a good time to come back, because there’s a lot of things coming up that I will want to talk about. 

So how have you been?