Rick has avoidance issues…

OK so I’ve been avoiding my blog.

It’s not because I dislike it or anything… I don’t.  I just dread writing lately.  I worry that I may start a post and never finish it (because that’s NEVER happened before.  Ha ha.)  I worry that I may write too much and nobody would want to read it.  And I worry that I really have nothing to say, after all.

Well, that’s a lie.  I have plenty to say.  In fact, there have been numerous subjects on which I could have said volumes, including Proposition 8, Obama asking Rick Warren to do the invocation at the Inaguration, the holidays, New Year’s Eve and much, much more.  But as time wore on, those subjects either got old or compounded upon each other, and were relegated to the column of “old news.”  

So I’ve decided to sum up some of those things here, and maybe — just maybe — I can start 2009 with a clean slate and go on from here.  So here we go….

Proposition 8 – Clearly, this was a disappointment, and clearly, the GLBT community spoke up and spoke up loudly.  I was touched and moved by the uprising, but I did not participate in any of the protests.  Why?  Well, I missed the first one in Chicago because I already had plans to see my mom that day.  And the second one (which protested the Cinemark theatre in Evanston for its CEO’s contribution to the Yes on 8 fund) was right after the funeral of a dear friend and I just wasn’t up for it.  But the real reason is because, in my heart of hearts, I just didn’t feel the same.  All this clamoring for the title of “marriage” to be used across the board doesn’t sit well with me.  Yes, I want the same rights for all people, and yes I want that equality whether I’m gay, straight or anything… but I feel like we are so focused on the word “Marriage” that we can’t see any other possibilities.  I’m hoping that something good comes of all this in the future … and the possibility that Prop 8 (and the other props in Florida and Arizona) is overturned is still out there — but until then, I wish we could regroup and really think about what we want… and do it right this time.  

Rick Warren – No sooner than this announcement was made, GLBT people were shouting “FOUL” and “BETRAYED” and calling Obama a traitor, worrying that he would do to us what Clinton did with “Dont’ Ask, Don’t Tell.”  I, however, looked at it as a positive.  Yes, the man is evil and has said some terrible things about our community… but the fact that he is there, among Democrats who believe and want everything he doesn’t… is significant.  I truly think his presence there will not have such a profound effect on anything at all.  It is merely a presence.  It actually speaks louder to his ability to see other views than anything else.  Obama isn’t going to alienate what he believes in because of who he asks to give an invocation.  So I kept silent on the issue– until now.  I know my view is not popular amongst my peers… but that’s just how I feel.  

And now on to more fun things…

The Holidays were a joy.  Christmas Day with the twins was full of laughter and love, and the girls were absolutely adorable.  They’ve reached the age where they can actually laugh and enjoy the holiday… and to see them with their toys was so much fun.  For those of you on Facebook, I have pictures up of them opening their gifts and playing with them, here and here.  

And finally, New Year’s Eve was a great time.  I went to my friend Ricardo’s for dinner, and we all shared our goals for 2009 and what we learned in 2008… it was an emotional and sweet moment when each of us professed our love for each other, as friends and as family.  I’ve said it before – I have some of the most wonderful friends a guy could ask for.  I love them dearly.  Afterwards we proceeded to Sidetrack to ring in the new year — the first time I had been to a bar for New Year’s Eve in many years.  I had a great time, and I think 2009 will be a really wonderful year for all of us.

So that’s about it.  Here we are, the first Monday of 2009.  Everyone is back to work, and life continues on from this point.  I’m grateful to be employed, and thankful to be alive and well.  In this day and age, what more can you ask for?

So to all of you, a happy and healthy new year.  It’ll be DIVINE in 2009! 🙂

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0 thoughts on “Rick has avoidance issues…

  1. You more than anyone know how I have played the “Avoidance” game with my blog. Last year just seems a blur to me that I wanted to get through. With all the hard things to work through, for some reason, I just couldn't find it in me to write about it when really, I should have. These days, I know for all the lack of posts in the past, many people don't visit my blog (rightly so), but I've found that I'm writing less for people now, and more for me. I've determined that it will be easier to get through those tough times (and they WILL come) if I get them out of me. If no one reads them, that's okay, but at least they're not inside of me festering. Also, if I concentrate on the joys, the payoff is better; healthwise. As for you, my sweet friend, you've been one of those faithful who have let me know throughout that you have quietly been there. That means so much to me and I want you to know that I love you. Here's to 2009. May it be, as you say, Divine!

  2. I had the same year-end, “Oh my God it's New Year's Eve but I have all these pending blog ideas still left from 2008” as you. (If you could see my draft folder you'd know how far back some of the yet-unrealized blog ideas go).

    One trick I've found that helps is to look for linkages among two or three topics, and then mend them together in a post where I say less that I intended to about each topic but that makes its own, maybe even better point with all of the topics riffing off of each other.

    Until I started doing that, I used to end up a deer in headlights, afraid to write about new topics because of guilt that my older ideas were still waiting to be blogged (whether due to time constraints or simple procrastination, no matter which).

    On a side note, i envy you your New Year's Eve. My most recent Thanksgiving (at my house) and Christmas (at a friend's house) dinner's were a lot less thoughtful. I tried to talk about gratitude for the love of friends at the former–and even said grace in a similar vein at the latter. But last year my circle of friends seemed more interested in chowing down earlier than pausing to remember why we were all gathered together in the first place.

    At least we were all together and with this economy I can't blame anyone for wanting to keep the holidays decidedly bubbly and shallow. But next time, I swear I'll drag that maple bacon turkey back off the table so fast it'll leave leave skid marks, I will.

  3. Pua, your return to blogging has been the inspiration I've been looking for. Not to say that anyone else hasn't inspired me… because there are plenty of other out there who are helping me along too… but you always were so personal and honest in everything you ever wrote 'back in the day'… I missed that honesty and that frankness… and of course your wonderful, wacky sense of humor. 🙂 I have told you over and over on your own blog, and I will say it here on my own – how ecstatically happy I am that you are “BACK!” I feel as if the “old community” we had back then is returning to me – slowly and surely. I've missed you, and I'm so glad you're my friend. I love you too!!! 😀

  4. Mike… my friends and I are pretty good at doing sappy yet sweet things like this – things that remind us that, although we have families of our own– whether they are across the miles or just a hop, skip and a jump away– we also have a family in each other. It's a heartwarming and wonderful feeling, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. 🙂

    As for the case of “writer's block” – I really and truly feel freed of that now. I can post again without that weight hanging over my head. I'm SO glad I wrote this… I needed to say these things and just move on. And now… I can. 🙂 (Oh, and my draft folder is ATROCIOUS!!! LOL 🙂 )

  5. I'm glad to see you blogging again. I felt like I was losing touch with you without your blog. Even though we've never met face to face, you are important to me as a friend.

    I am so happy to hear you had such nice holidays. You deserve it. What a wonderful way to spend New Year's. I really feel that 2009 is going to be an exceptional and transformational year.

    I agree with you 100% on the gay marriage thing. I would rather have civil unions now across the board for everyone in all states than continue battling it out over terminology. Should we be fully equal and be able to call it marriage? Yes, but let's be pragmatic.

    Lastly, regarding the Rick Warren thing, the post I wrote on The Bilerico Project was not necessarily my opinion. i wrote it because I knew it would get people fired up either on one side or another. My personal view is something much closer to what you expressed. I'm not happy about Warren being there, but as the same time, I think Obama is being very shrewd in picking him.

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