Dilemma

I just heard from the ex for the first time in nearly 3 years.  He’s moving back to Chicago in the winter.

How does one respond in such a situation?

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0 thoughts on “Dilemma

  1. At first on not bad terms… but eventually it went sour. Very sour. And like I said I hadn't heard from him in close to 3 years. I didn't know if he was dead or alive, to be honest. And now this.

    Yeah, I don't know if I'll be responding anytime soon.

  2. “How does one respond in such a situation?”

    By not responding anymore. I've read your blog. What a bad news bear he was.

    But…the problem, if one presents itself, won't be him in Chicago. It will be you engaging with him. Let him have whatever problematic or problem-free life he may claim to have now, and make sure you know you don't have to be a part of it.

    And then don't be. Just let him go. I know, “just”, right? But your blog makes it sound like he's like self-destructive peanuts to you. Would you really stop with just one call, or two months from now is he going to be sitting at your Thanksgiving table nodding out into his stuffing?

    More to the point, why is he coming back? (Failure elsewhere?) And why is he calling you after all this time? (Desperation? All other Second City bridges burned?)

    If he's fixed himself by now, great. But after your history together, how will you ever trust that he's finally cleaned up his act? If he's still screwed up, hopefully you know by now he'll never change and you can't fix him.

    Because the moment you call him back (as I suspect you already suspect), you're screwed. My two cents from the sidelines.

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