I need a massage

I’ve been told by more than one person lately that I’m far too negative.  I focus on everything that’s bad and let it eat at me until I can’t see what’s good anymore.  In some ways I guess I knew this, but I never realized how bad it was until very recently.  I don’t like that about me.  I never have.  It’s something I need to be more aware of and something I need to fix.

I’ve felt alienated by a lot of people lately — friends, acquaintances, and co-workers alike.  I’ve felt much more alone and much less social.  And as the weeks have passed, I’ve become concerned that something was at the root of all of this.  I didn’t realize how much of that root involved me and my own outlook on life.

Talk about a spring awakening! 

So what am I going to do about all of this?  I’m working on that, but I think there is one way I can start to get back to my center and work my way out:  Get a massage.

For the past few months or so, I’ve been hounded by a friend of mine in the Feast of Fools community to get a massage.  And although I know his heart is in the right place, I’ve done just about anything and everything possible to avoid doing it.

Thing is, he’s absolutely right.

In fact, he’s told me on more than one occasion that I should look into regular massages.  Not only would they help me relax, he says, they would help me to focus more and be more attuned to the things that need attention in my life.

Surely I can’t argue with that logic.  At times my life feels like I’m teetering on the brink of disaster.  Just the slightest gust of wind or sesmic jolt could send this house of cards on a freefall that will never end.

So an hour or so of complete silence and the hands of a good masseuse can’t be a bad thing.  I just need to get my shit together long enough to make an appointment and do it.

Of course that’s easier said than done.  In this economy, where grocery prices are skyrocketing and gasoline is more expensive than gold, things like a massage seem like a distant luxury.  But groceries can’t relieve my aching shoulders.  Gasoline can’t lull me into a meditative state.  Well, I suppose it could, but I’d kill a few thousand brain cells at the same time.

So my goal for this month is to get this massage taken care of.  And the sooner, the better.  Because I really need to start relaxing and enjoying life again.  I need to smile and laugh more.  I need to be a better friend and a better person in general.  Then, once I take this step, I may decide to take other steps.  The more steps I take, the better I will feel about myself, which hopefully will be recognized by the people around me.

I don’t like who I’ve become lately.  And if I don’t like myself, there’s no way other people will like me. 

Advertisements

0 thoughts on “I need a massage

  1. Sweetie, I say this with love:

    You’re a nut! You’re stressing out about relaxing!

    Maybe the real lesson here is to find something that you already do that relaxes you. (Maybe it will be free.) You really have to know yourself to know what brings you peace.

    When my husband was deployed he and my friends were always telling me I should get a massage. As much as I love a good massage, the stress of the expense, finding the time and even making the call for the appointment were too stressful. But I learned that a cup of tea and a mindless book did more to center me than anything else.

    You have to find what works for you.

    Or go get a massage! 😉

  2. Sweetie, I say this with love:

    You’re a nut! You’re stressing out about relaxing!

    Maybe the real lesson here is to find something that you already do that relaxes you. (Maybe it will be free.) You really have to know yourself to know what brings you peace.

    When my husband was deployed he and my friends were always telling me I should get a massage. As much as I love a good massage, the stress of the expense, finding the time and even making the call for the appointment were too stressful. But I learned that a cup of tea and a mindless book did more to center me than anything else.

    You have to find what works for you.

    Or go get a massage! 😉

  3. How can somebody so talented, charismatic, good-looking, and well liked be so negative? Alienation from close ones is common but it eventually subsides. At least spring is here in Chicago!

    I recommend finding a masseur in the back ads of Gay Chicago magazine or Craigslists. I’m sure these guys would give you the release you desperately need.

  4. How can somebody so talented, charismatic, good-looking, and well liked be so negative? Alienation from close ones is common but it eventually subsides. At least spring is here in Chicago!

    I recommend finding a masseur in the back ads of Gay Chicago magazine or Craigslists. I’m sure these guys would give you the release you desperately need.

  5. Negativity is something which we all struggle with. And sometimes it takes those close to us, to give us a reality check. Don’t be too hard on yourself! But, I’ve found the best way to combat negativity starts with our thinking. Try to spend one day ‘classifying’ your thoughts. Do they fall more in the positive or negative side.

  6. Negativity is something which we all struggle with. And sometimes it takes those close to us, to give us a reality check. Don’t be too hard on yourself! But, I’ve found the best way to combat negativity starts with our thinking. Try to spend one day ‘classifying’ your thoughts. Do they fall more in the positive or negative side.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s