October 1, 2027
It’s hard to believe that twenty years ago today, you were ordered to give us up to Dad. So much changed after that day. In some ways, we’re glad we don’t remember any of it. It had to be so terrible. But it was the only thing that could be done at the time.
Granted, Dad wasn’t any great shakes either; but you were spinning so far out of control, it just seemed like there was no other solution.
Jayden and I have talked about this many times, Mom. We wonder why you couldn’t understand how important our lives were to you. We wonder why you didn’t realize that the best thing for you to do was to clean yourself up and be a good mother. Was it because you had us at such a young age? Or was it because you were so far gone by that point that there was no turning back? We may never know those answers.
We’ve heard about other people in the same sort of situation you were in– where fame was spinning their lives out of control so fast they had no way to catch up– and one celebrity comes to mind most often: Anna Nicole Smith.
Apparently she died less than a year before you lost us. She had just had a baby and had recently lost her young son. She lost control of herself and died way too young.
Why couldn’t you have realized that you were heading down the same path?
We try not to be angry with you, Mom, but sometimes we just can’t help it. It’s so selfish to put your own cares and desires before those of your own children. I’d like to ask, “Why did you have us at all if you didn’t want us?” But that doesn’t seem fair. Maybe you did want us, at first. But when you realized how difficult it was to maintain a career and raise two small children, you just gave up — on everything.
They say the sins of the father shall be visited upon the sons. I think I speak for Jayden when I say that the sins of our mother shall not be visited upon us. Instead, we are learning from them, and doing the best we can to avoid them.
We do miss you, Mom. We wish things hadn’t ended the way they did. And although your star shines brighter now than it did then, we’d much rather have you around to love us and see us grow older.
And we do love you, Mom. Wherever you may be.
Jayden and Sean Preston