Let’s face it… we’ve all had shitty sex at one time or another in our lives. But this is the nastiest thing that EVER happened to me. And it was shitty. VERY shitty.
This was about 5-6 years ago. I was living with roommates in a three-bedroom, two-bath apartment, and I was home alone. So I met this guy online and he came over. We got down to business and suddenly I smell it… he ain’t just not clean… he’s full of shit– if you know what I mean. VERY FULL.
So I immediately get off of him and say, “You know what, I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to either go to the bathroom and clean up or I can’t continue.”
He just said, “OK” and went into my bathroom. (I cleaned up in the other bathroom.) I heard the shower running, and after about 10 minutes or so, he came out and started to get dressed. By that point I was ready for him to go anyway.
He didn’t say much of anything, just “See ya,” and he was out the door.
I went into my bathroom and got ready to take a shower– but something stopped me in my tracks. Something just did not smell… right.
I opened the curtain to the shower… and he had SHIT ALL OVER MY FUCKING BATHTUB! There was shit EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!
I almost threw up. It was absolutely disgusting. I coated the entire floor of the bathtub with Comet until I couldn’t see it anymore and then grabbed the toilet brush and started scrubbing while the water ran. Thank goodness I had a full can of Comet… I just kept scrubbing, adding more Comet, and scrubbing some more… taking breaks to run into fresh air to gag and catch my breath.
Needless to say, he was NEVER invited back again!