Fortune Cookies

Fortune CookieOver the last six years at work, I have eaten Chinese food more times than I care to remember.  I’ve ingested more Rama Chicken (Chicken with peanut sauce over steamed broccoli and white rice) and Sweet and Sour Chicken than just about any other course. 

And I have the Fortune Cookie fortunes to prove it.

During this time, I have collected some rather interesting fortunes.  Some of which I had hoped would come true.  Some which HAVE come true; and some of which… well, I’m still waiting.

And while I know the old game of adding “in bed” to the end of all fortunes makes them funnier, sometimes the fortunes themselves are funny enough.  Especially if you take them with a grain of sand as they are intended.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Any rough times are now behind you
Yes, this may have been true at the time, but the rub is that you never know what’s lurking around the corner.  The fortune doesn’t say “…but watch out for that next step, it’s a lulu!” 

You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music
Tell me something I don’t already know! 

Romance moves you in a new direction
If that direction is straight into the shitter, than this fortune was right on the money.

The heart is wiser than the intellect
And the brain you choose to use will guide your way.

You have a quiet and unobtrusive nature
Unless you piss me off—then watch out!

You need not worry about your future
Why should I start now? 

Treat the past as the past—now is the time to start anew
Now!?  What about all this worrying about the future I’m not supposed to be doing!?

He who is afraid of asking is ashamed of learning
And he who asks stupid questions learns quickly that he’s an idiot.

Your life will soon be graced with the presence of stardom
I’m too old for American Idol.  I’ll have to settle for Karaoke King.

Your success in life must be earned with earnest efforts
So cheating, stealing and lying is out of the question?  Damn!

A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains
Amen to that!

Happy news is on its way
You mean George Bush is going to be impeached soon!?  OH GOODY!

So what are some good fortunes you’ve received? 

Whither Blogging?

As I peruse my blogroll lately, I am finding more and more dead links. Links that once connected to lively discussions and interesting topics are now dead and displaying 401 errors and other such test patterns.

In the last few years, the definition of blogging has changed from that of an independent voice to that of a controlled environment– controlled by major media, and controlled by money.

Are we witnessing the end of the independent blogger? Is blogging for the little guy finally reaching its apex? Or has it already crested– now crashing down to earth in a fireball?

When I started blogging in 2004, it was an exciting new medium. You could find blogs about everything from cooking to music, from sex to politics. There were discussion blogs and “mommy” blogs. There were comedy blogs and, yes, even some tragic blogs. Nearly all of them were independent in nature. Blog ads were an unknown concept– making money on the medium had not even surfaced yet.

A year or two later, the landscape had changed considerably. Media outlets had taken notice of blogging’s popularity and power. More people jumped on the bandwagon, and ways to make money were devised. Eventually major players emerged and became just as famous as the medium that created them. Yet somehow everyone was still able to coexist in peaceful harmony.

Today, however, it seems that the tide has turned. The major players have been decided, and the independent voices are quickly starting to vanish. The media outlets that reported on blogging’s popularity had begun producing their own blogs, putting an end to many independent voices in their wake. The edges of what blogging initially meant had been blurred; its original meaning turned into the next passing fad.

I miss those early, glorious days. I miss meeting new people and seeing new names. I miss the excitement of discussing current events one day and your own personal crises the next with people I had never met before; and probably never will. I miss the camaraderie that was shared between the pioneers of the medium.

I don’t miss the fact that so many people are disappearing without even saying goodbye.

Whither blogging? Maybe not completely, but the definition is most certainly changing.


I’ve been singing with the Chicago Gay Men’s Chorus for nine years now, and it seems that every time a show comes up I’m bound to get sick… somehow.

This year is no exception. Last week I was off work for two days with a viral respiratory infection, and this week I was nearly sidelined by some type of bug. Whatever it was, it brought a fever, pain in my lymph glands, and a bright red rash on my upper lip. Oh yeah… I was looking SEXY this week!

But somehow I made it through ok. Today I am feeling pretty good. The lip problem is almost gone, and to top it all off, the weather looks like it’s finally changing back into springtime. I took the day off of work (which has also been hellish lately) and rested all day. I’m ready to go for the weekend.

Sidetrack V: Sidetrack With A TwistSo tonight is opening night for CGMC’s “Sidetrack V With A Twist.” At first I was a little less excited about the show because I don’t have any big standout numbers. Call it the curse of a diva, but hey… it happens. But now I’m actually glad that I don’t have any big numbers in this show. I can stand back and enjoy it without worrying about costumes, makeup, remembering lines, or making any grave mistakes in front of hundreds of people. Less stress = more fun! And fun is a really great word to describe this show.

The Sidetrack shows basically re-create favorite numbers from musicals old and new, live on stage, with performers in full costume (in most cases). Shows represented this year include “Wicked,” “Will Rogers Follies,” “Sunset Boulevard,” “Best Little Whorehouse In Texas,” “Thoroughly Modern Millie,” “Mary Poppins,” “Dreamgirls,” and “Hairspray.” And that’s only half of the shows.

At last night’s dress rehearsal I was asked to take publicity photos because the person we had hired canceled. So I got to see the show from the audience’s perspective. I will say this now… if you are in the Chicago area and have about $25-$40 to spare (and the time to spare as well), see this show. It’ll be a fun, hilarious, and wonderful night. You won’t regret it!

Friday, April 20 – 8:00 PM
Saturday, April 21- 5:00 PM and 8:30 PM
Athenaeum  Theatre
2936 N. Southport Ave.

Hibernation over

Well that was a nice little rest.

OK, it wasn’t much of a rest.  In fact, as far as things are going, I’m still deep in the middle of all my craziness with the chorus and rehearsals and whatnot.  I just got tired of looking at my blog with no posts for almost a month.


Geez, that’s the longest I’ve gone without posting anything since I started blogging.

But it was a nice break.  And I have to admit, it wasn’t just because I was so busy.  I was also suffering from an incredibly bad case of writer’s block. 

So rather than write about not being able to write (like I am right now), I figured it would be best to step away for a while. After all, who wants to read about someone who can’t write? 

I rest my case.

So what’s been going on with me lately?  Well, I’ve gone on a date that ended disastrously, I saw a living legend in concert, I’ve been sick, I’ve rediscovered my love for piano bars, and I’ve become a bit of a Karaoke king.  All the while keeping up with my usual duties as “Daddy” to my cats, rehearsing with the chorus, and tending to my mom and family. 

Really, not that much different than any other three-week period in my life.  Aside from the date, of course– which I’ll get to at a later time. 

It’s good to be back, though.  And it’s a good time to come back, because there’s a lot of things coming up that I will want to talk about. 

So how have you been?