A low-key New Year

This was definitely a quiet New Year’s Eve weekend for me.

I got home from work on Friday and didn’t leave my apartment until Sunday night to go to a small gathering at my friend Shawn’s place for New Year’s Eve. I got a lot of sleep, did a little cooking, and spent time with my kitties. It was wonderful.

Of course, part of the reason for my sequestering was because I really couldn’t go out if I wanted to. Not too many bars will let you in without an ID– and while I have fooled people before into thinking I’m in my 20s (ok… LATE 20s…), I still get carded at bars just like everyone else. So without a card, I am stuck at home.

But that was just as well. I wasn’t really in the mood for the crowds at the bars anyway. That’s why I never usually go to bars for New Year’s Eve. It seems like every Tom, Dick, Harry, Susan, Maxine and Charley come out of the woodwork (and from the suburbs), crowd into the bars until they can’t move, and drink until they get WORSE than stupid. Then when midnight comes, Charley grabs someone– anyone– to make out with her, just to have SOMEONE to kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve. Then the chosen person– Susan, probably– starts a fight with her assailant, which starts a brawl between everyone and their friends, and everyone gets kicked out to the street. There they all try to find a cab. But the cabs are all taken, so they walk to the train (which offers rides for a penny every New Year’s Eve). Along the way, Susan starts pulling Maxine’s hair, and Charley starts screaming at Harry to get his girl off of Charley’s girl or he’ll kick his ass. Harry screams at Tom and Dick about holding hands in public, and Tom and Dick start screaming at Harry and Charley for being stupid breeders with overblown egos. Someone calls the cops to break up the fight, but not before Harry and Charley start wrestling in the middle of Addison street while Susan and Maxine start hitting each other with their 5-inch heels. Tom and Dick proceed to make out on the sidewalk, oblivious to the action around them, and eventually a crowd gathers. The cops finally arrive, and they shove everyone into their paddywagon and zoom away from the scene, and the crowd disperses as the rest of the revelers go about their business.

And that, my dear folks, is why I prefer to stay in or go to a friend’s intimate party on New Year’s Eve.

There’s too many frickin’ crazy people out there.