Writer's Block

Lately whenever I get to the “Write Post” screen for my blog, I sit and stare at a blank window.

I’ll start a post, only to let save it in my drafts and forget about it. I have nine of these never-completed posts in my drafts as I speak. I doubt they’ll ever be finished.

I just can’t think of anything to say.

Oh sure, the occasional meme or recap of a weekend’s activities might flow freely… but the days of being able to spout off some interesting observation of a recent event; whether it be in my own life or in the news or in the world of politics; seems to be over.

For now.

So I am taking a bit of a hiatus from writing.

I just need to find my voice again. I don’t know where it’s gone, or how to get it back at this point. But when it returns, you’ll know.

Besides, it’s going to be summer soon. So much to do. You know the routine.

I’ll certainly be writing about the New York trip in June and other things as they come up. But I’m just not going to force myself to write anything unless I have something to say anymore. It just doesn’t flow as freely as it used to.

Good lord, am I suffering from old age already? 😉

Have a great week everyone.

What's on my iPod?

UPDATED: All the songs have been identified– whether they were guessed or not. Thanks for playing!!

I was just browsing through Dantallion’s Can[n]on and caught this lovely meme. As you know, some memes are downright insipid, and some are actually quite fun. This one is definitely one of the fun ones. Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Put your iPod/MP3 player or iTunes on random.

Step 2: Post the first line(s) from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song. (Instrumental songs, obviously, do not count)

Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.

Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly and post the title in bold after the stricken song when it is guessed.

Step 5: (for those guessing the songs) Looking the lyrics up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!!! (which would be bad, obviously).

Song #1: Listen to the ground: There is movement all around. There is something goin down and I can feel it.

Night Fever: Bee Gees (Greg got this one on Friday. Attaway Greg! 🙂

Song #2: Your old man got mad when I told him we were leaving. He cursed and he raged and he swore at the ceiling.

Blues For Baby and Me: Elton John (Nobody got this one– I figured it was too obscure, but hey, there is at least one Elton John song on the list. :-))

Song #3: You came along when I needed a savior. Someone to pull me through somehow.

Somebody Already Broke My Heart: Sade (Todd of Toddspot snuck in at the VERY last minute and got this one. 🙂 — and at this point, Todd, I’m perfectly cool with you cheating. ;))

Song #4: And now I’m all alone again, no where to turn, no one to go to.

On My Own: Les Miserables (Ah yes, the showtune queens in us all come out for this one! That means you, dpnash, Ian, and… well.. me, of course. 😉

Song #5: Kiss me too fiercely; hold me too tight. I need help believing you’re with me tonight.

As Long As You’re Mine: Wicked (Idina Menzel and Norbert Leo Butz) (Ian gets this one all to himself!)

Song #6: Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you.

My Heart Will Go On: Celine Dion (Too easy… and by far my most embarrassing tune. 😉 Kudos go to Dan, dpnash, and Ian. Yes, dears, we are all that gay.)

Song #7: I used to visit all the very gay places; those come what may places.

Lush Life: Queen Latifah (You guessed very correctly, dpnash… it’s from Living Out Loud and Her Highness’s fabulous album “The Dana Owens Album”)

Song #8: Knew you’d be here tonight. So I put my best dress on. Boy I was so right.

Slow: Kylie Minogue (Nobody! And here I thought all the fags from all over would guess it right. ;-))

Song #9: Mama said on the day I was born there was a whole lotta shakin goin on.

Bop ‘Til You Drop: The Nylons (Another very obscure one that nobody got!)

Song #10: To dance! No way to make a living, masochisms, pain, perfection, muscle spasm, chiropractors, short careers, eating disorders…

La Vie Boheme part B: Rent (Original Movie Soundtrack) (Not only did dpnash and Ian know this, they knew it was “Part B”… that’s what I call impressive!)

Song #11: Every day there’s something new; Honey, to keep me lovin’ you. And with every passin’ minute; Ah baby, so much joy wrapped up in it.

My Precious Love: Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell (Nobody guessed this one either.)

Song #12: Hey.. do it now.. Yeah, once I was a boogie singer.. playin’ in a rock & roll band.

Play That Funky Music: Wild Cherry (Greg came back again today and guessed this one! 🙂

Song #13: And now, is it too late to say how you made my life so different in your quiet way.

My One True Friend: Bette Midler (I love this song… but nobody got it!)

Song #14: They asked me how I knew, my true love was true. I of course replied, something you hear inside cannot be denied.

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes: Dinah Washington (dpnash and Ian got the song right… But they were also right that there are so many versions out there– it could have been anyone! Such a great song. And you gotta love Miss Dinah. :-))

Song #15: If you need me, call me. no matter where you are, no matter how far– just call my name.

Ain’t No Mountain High Enough: Diana Ross & The Supremes (Well done, Dan and Ian!)

Song #16: One day, you’ll look to see I’ve gone.

I’ll Follow The Sun: The Beatles (Tricked ya with two Beatles tunes! But not on purpose of course… it just happened that way.)

Song #17: If you search for tenderness, it isn’t hard to find. You can have the love you need to live.

Honesty: Billy Joel (I was starting to worry that nobody knew this one… it’s one of my theme songs. 🙂 But Brian (who didn’t leave a link or anything) guessed it correctly.)

Song #18: Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup.

Across The Universe: The Beatles (This one belongs solely to GP… although he mentioned Rufus Wainwright, whose version I also have and like very much!)

Song #19: At last, my love has come along. My lonely days are over. And life is like a song.

At Last: Etta James (Too easy… congrats to Karen and Ian! 🙂

Song #20: Suppose I said I am on my best behavior. There are times I lose my worried mind.

Not Myself: John Mayer (Wow! Dan must be some John Mayer fan!)

I've Been Around

OK, laugh if you must. But for some reason, after the week and weekend I’ve had, this was the first thing that popped into my head.

To say this week has been active is a grave understatement. Most things were good. Really good. And others were just sort of… OK. I’ve already talked about my tooth woes (which will be continued tomorrow), and the big office move that made my life hell this last week; so here’s a few other things that have gone on in the past few days:


OK OK OK… There are SO many things wrong with that statement. First of all, I’m gay. Hello. But I do like baseball, so there! But there is still a lot wrong with that statement. If you said it’s because I’m a Cubs fan, you win the crying towel. OK yeah, so the Cubs suck right now and I’ll be the first to admit it. But when you get free tickets to see a baseball game– in a Skybox– you don’t pass them up. EVER. And it doesn’t matter if you know anything about the game, or if you even like the team or not. You go. And you eat the food and drink the drinks and when the dessert cart comes around, you pick the chocolatiest, yummiest thing on the tray and say “DIET BE DAMNED!” and dig in.

So that was Wednesday. After the Root Canal. No stupid tooth surgery is going to keep me away from that. 🙂

Bicycle! Bicycle! Bicycle!

I bought a new bike while I was in Kenosha recently. It’s a Trek 7100 Hybrid in blue and silver… the picture at the left is exactly the bike I have. It’s amazing. I’m used to riding bikes and hurting for days afterward– but this bike (and many like it these days) has a suspension system and a spring-suspended seat. Now that’s what I call nifty. I brought it home last Saturday and rode around just a little bit, figuring I’d get some rides in during the week; but with the week I had (and the weather we had as well– it’s been COLD lately), I haven’t had a chance until this weekend. It was still cold outside, but I figured if I spent that money on the bike, I’m sure as hell gonna use it. So… could this be the start of a “new” me? Actually getting exercise (and driving less)? We shall see. But… if you are in Chicago and like to go riding, drop me a line and let me know!

So nice to finally meet you!

After he gave CGMC’s show “The Ten Commandments” rave reviews, I got to know Spencer of Streaming Weltanschauung and various other blogs a little bit better– so he invited me to a cookout at his place. So I grabbed a bottle of booze, shoved it in my backpack, and rode my bike up the path to his place. At first I was a little intimidated, as I only knew Spencer out of anyone else in the crowd– and even then, I was just meeting him in person for the first time. But then a few of my chorus friends walked in and everything was just fine. 🙂 A little later, some fellow bloggers joined the party: Palochi (who I’ve known since probably the beginning of the Internets, it’s been so long), Alan Gentry of Alan’s Adventure (who I met at the Feast of Fools Meet & Greet), and ToddSpot, who I hadn’t met before. Since most of us hadn’t really met any other gay bloggers in the Chicago area before, we decided to take some group pictures on one of Spencer’s balconies (he has three for cryin’ out loud… and check out this view!)

Spencer with the lights of Lake Shore Drive behind him.

The Chicago Blogboys: Alan Gentry, Scott (Palochi), ToddSpot, Spencer, and Me.

After the party, I spent the evening with some of the friends who showed up at Spencer’s place playing Trivial Pursuit and drinking. I did a lot of drinking this weekend. It’s a wonder I got up in time for…

Happy Mother’s Day!

I did get up in time, and had a lovely brunch at my sister’s home with our mom and her husband’s mom. I actually look forward to spending time with my family. I like that. I appreciate them so much, as I appreciate all mothers and fathers. It’s not easy to be a parent– never has been, and never will be. So as far as I’m concerned, a day to honor your mother and a day to honor your father is extremely well-deserved. So Happy Mother’s Day to all of you mothers out there reading this. You know who you are. 🙂

My sister got Mom a new phone and a plant, and there was no way she would be able to set up the phone or carry the plant out of the car, so I followed her home and surprised my dad with a visit. He couldn’t make it to my sister’s house because of his condition of course. 😦

So I picked some lilies of the valley for my mom (they grow in their backyard) and cut some lilacs and put them around the house. Now she can enjoy them inside as well as outside.

I got home around 7:30 and readied myself for the second-to-last episodes of my favorite TV shows, Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy. And let me tell you, they didn’t disappoint, but that Grey’s Anatomy is THE BEST SHOW ON TELEVISION. I mean My GOD. I was literally SCREAMING at my TV for a character NOT to do something at the very end. Amazing. If you watch the show, and haven’t seen it yet, you NEED to see this episode. If you don’t watch the show and don’t know what I’m talking about, you NEED to buy the DVDs and catch up. Trust me. I’m not giving anything away here in case you missed it. But yeah. It was great. And it concludes tomorrow night. I seriously can’t wait.

Oh by the way… the writers of Grey’s Anatomy have a blog that is required reading if you watch the show. It’s called Grey Matter… click it and check it.

So … that was my week, and my weekend. All summed up in a too-damn-long post that you probably won’t even read. But at least I got it all out there. 🙂 Let’s just hope this week goes a little better (and easier). One can only hope.

Further adventures of the Tooth Fairy

Yesterday was a crazy day.

As I mentioned previously, our office is being moved from the 43rd floor of our building to the 46th floor. Initially we were supposed to move over this coming weekend, but it was pushed up to Wednesday because our new office space was going to be ready earlier than planned– and since the office services department had over 100 people to move, the sooner they could get one group moved the better.

Good for them, but bad for us. It just made our lives about 10x more crazy.

So yesterday was the official moving day. At 5:00 the Tech Services guys were going to start coming to disconnect our computers and phones– so essentially we had to shut down. Everyone was scurrying around trying to beat the clock, finishing projects as necessary.

As lunchtime approached, everyone decided to order in since were so busy. This isn’t unusual– we order in a lot because we are busy a lot, but more people went in on this order than usual just to get it done. We ordered from Pockets because they’re fast, the food’s good, and it’s fresh.

So I started eating my Asian pocket (yummy!) when I felt something go “CRUNCH” inside my mouth.

It could have been an overly crunchy crispy noodle. It could have been a particlarly hard piece of bread. Or it could have been that my tooth, which had been giving me some pain as of late, had finally given out under all the pressure.

If you chose option #3– the tooth… you were right.

See, I had some pain in that tooth for a long time, but I hadn’t been to a dentist since I moved to Chicago– nearly ten years ago. I knew that I needed to see someone, but with the multitude of dentists out there, I had no idea where to begin.

Now, as I finished my lunch and felt around the tooth area and realized what had happened, I knew that I had to make a choice– and fast.

Somehow, I had lost a filling. A filling that probably has been there since I was in grade school… who knows. But all that was left was what felt like an enormous, gaping HOLE in my tooth.

“Great,” I said to myself in disbelief. “This isn’t exactly what I had planned for today!”

I called the dentist that I had intended on seeing to make an appointment. They couldn’t get me in until the 6th of June. That wasn’t going to work.

So I started talking to people in the office, and my manager called his dentist to see if they could fit me in today or tomorrow. About half an hour later they called me back and I had an appointment for 3:15.

The office is only a few blocks away from work, which I found to be very convenient. The other office was midway between work and home.

The good news: I wasn’t really in a ton of pain. However the filling broke, it didn’t do it in a place where the root was exposed. That would have killed me.

The bad news: Even though the good news was the case, when the dentist started drilling, she realized that the root was infected. Which means… a root canal.

Just what I had feared. I’ve heard for years about how painful (and expensive) root canals could be. Now I was going to experience it all for myself.

There’s nothing worse than the smell of tooth and old fillings being ground up by a dentist’s drill. NOTHING. That acrid smell will stick with me for a very long time.

But at least I’m about halfway done with the procedure now, and while I’m still in some pain (it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as I thought it would– yet), I know that I’m in good hands. The procedure will be finished on Monday, and then I have to have the tooth capped. Then I will go in for a full cleaning– after I recover financially and physically from all of this trauma.

At one point, as they were readying me to take X-rays of my entire mouth, the dentist mentioned something about hoping not to do a root canal. I said “I figured that, which is why I didn’t want to wait before the pain got any worse.”

She said “Well, you already waited long enough…”

Nice… gotta love a dentist with a sarcastic sense of humor.

I'm still here

I haven’t died. I am still alive. But buried in projects, work, moving our office AT work, and on top of it all, sheer exhaustion.

I’ll sum up things soon. Keep a light on for me.