Darn you to HECK, Comcast!

Yes, I know, that should say DAMN you to HELL… but I’ve been exceedingly vulgur lately on my blog, so I wanted to be a good Christian boy (cough….. cough…. hey stop laughing!) and tone down the language a bit. Aren’t you glad I think of you?

Anyway, this isn’t about my potty mouth, this is about Comcast. If you’re from the Chicago area, you know what a gestapo Comcast is. They are taking over the cable world, one building at a time. And they must be stopped.

OK ok… I am getting all pissy again and I apologize. But they pissed me off, so you can’t blame me.

Not following me? I will explain.

I’m taking too long? Let me sum up.

Saturday: I turn on my TV and get no picture. I get all the lovely graphics from my cable box, but no picture. So I figure something has gone awry. I can still watch my DVR programs but nothing on TV. So I unplug the box (which they tell you to do, even if you call them) and plug it back in.

Great, now not only do I have no picture, but I can’t access anything at all.

So I call Comcast.

A very cheery lady answers the phone. She’s exceedingly nice. I figure I’m in good hands. She tries to send a test to the cable box but gets no response. So she says, and I quote, “Well it looks like it’s something outside your building. I can send somone over there on Monday morning. They won’t even have to come inside, because I’m positive that the problem is outside your building.” I say, “Great, then let’s do it.”

Even though this means I have no TV all weekend long. Dammit.

Monday arrives, and I go to work. I figured that since she said I don’t even need to be there, I didn’t have to be there. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

I call my phone at about 5:00 to check messages, and there is one from Comcast.

“Uh, Mr. Aiello, our guy is there and ringing your doorbell but nobody is answering. He has to move on to his next appointment now. Please call us if you are still experiencing problems or would like to reschedule.”

Now I’m angry.

I call Comcast and tell them that, no, I wasn’t there, because I was told by their representative that I didn’t need to BE there. I RE-explained my problem to this new person (who wasn’t nearly as friendly as the idiot lady I talked to on Saturday) and was told that the problem was probably my cable box.

My cable box. Really. Funny how that is completely the OPPOSITE of what the lady told me on Saturday.

It never ceases to amaze me how these people have no idea what the hell they are talking about.

So I schedule an appointment for Thursday, when I go in later to work. I am told that the person should arrive between 8 am and 10 am. “They’d better not be late,” I tell this new, now-unfriendly girl.

Cut to this morning. My phone rings at 8am. A recording plays saying, “We have discovered a problem in your area, and were wondering if you are still having trouble with your service. If everything is okay, just hang up. If you are still experiencing trouble, press “1”. ”

I press “1”.

Another person answers who asks me all the same questions about my problems. Do these people NOT have computers that document this stuff? She tells me to unplug the box and plug it back in. I do this. Nothing happens. She tells me to wait a while and it may come back.

It’s now 5:00 pm and the same “One Moment Please” message is showing on my TV.

What I’m taking away from this experience is this:

1. When did I get so dependent on my TV? I’m freaking out almost as badly as when my DSL went out a while back. This is not good.

2. Customer Service is an oxymoron. I’ve had good experiences, and I’ve had bad experiences. It seems that for every good experience, you are then given a bad one. I would certainly have preferred to have a good one this time around.

3. I’m more upset about losing the programs that are recorded on my DVR that I haven’t watched yet (and will never see, obviously) than about getting a new DVR box. Getting a new box is actually kind of cool. At least it’s cool as long as it doesn’t break down again. Which I expect it will… eventually.

4. Why do these things always happen to me?

Now of course I’m sure they happen to everyone from time to time, but as humans, we are self-centered and think that we are the ONLY ONES TO HAVE THIS PROBLEM!!!! So I guess it’s OK for me to feel this way for a while.

Add to all of this that I was sick today from work (spring allergies are kicking my ass behind… yuck), so I had nothing better to do than sleep. And check Email. Thank goodness THAT was still working. 🙂

So now that I’m done with my little rant, I feel a lot better. I’m going to do something constructive with my time… like go shopping or something.

Ah, shit crap feces poop. It’s raining.

Guess I’ll just browse the internets instead.