God, I'm Gonna Slug Tom Cruise!

“I won’t let this woman get away,” says Tom Cruise.

“First the baby, then the film,” he said to a German tabloid. “Then, in the summer, we want to get married.”

Sounds like he’s got it all figured out.

What a numbnut.

Who does he think he is? Does he really think we give a shit?

Hey, God… if you are listening, can you do me… and for that matter, everyone on earth a favor?

Shut Tom Cruise up before I have to slug him.

I know you’ll do it for us, God. After all, he’s one of those wacko Scientologist types who doesn’t really believe in you anyway.

OK yeah, I know, I’m no angel myself. I haven’t been to church in… mffmermerm.

I’m sorry, you didn’t hear me? I thought you could hear everything… you are God, after all.. right? 😀

…You’re not laughing.

…I see.

…Well, no… I can’t see… YOU… but…

…Can we get back on to the topic, please?

Thanks, God.

So yeah, about this whacko Tom Cruise. I know I’ve talked about him before here, and have wondered just who cares what he has to say and all… but apparently he didn’t get the hint. Heck, even those folks at South Park… you know, that cartoon with Cartman and Kenny and all those kids?… they seem to have it figured out, too. So why do we let him blather on about his baby (I bet it’s not even really his) and his fiance’ (the poor brainwashed girl) as if we really care at all?

…You don’t care either? I’m so glad to hear that.

…But you can’t really do anything?

Darn.

I guess the best thing to do is to just ignore him, right?

…Yeah, I guess that is what Jesus would do.

Well anyway, God, thanks for listening. And thanks for the good advice. I guess I’ll just have to pretend I don’t see or hear him anymore.

That shouldn’t be too hard, really. 🙂

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