My Timeline

I was browsing through some files on my computer the other day and came upon a timeline that I created about a year ago. It starts in 1997 when I first moved to Chicago and left off at about this time last year.

There wasn’t much on the timeline. But I’m glad I created it. It helped me to figure out where I’ve lived and when (I’ve been in my current apartment since Summer of 2002– longest time of any apartment), when I adopted my cats (Pippin in May of 2000 and Screech in July of 2001).

The other thing it documents is how many boyfriends/relationships I’ve had in the last 9-10 years.

Two. Ouch.

And the last one was in the spring of 2004.

What the hell is wrong with me? Am I really so against the idea of having a boyfriend (consciously or subconsciously) that I literally run away from any opportunity I may have?

I tried to see if I could fill in a few more dates and times with other dating events… but I couldn’t. I just had nothing to add.

Good lord. That kinda freaked me out.

I need to get busy. Time to freshen up the dating website profiles and start exploring some options.

Here are some of the criteria I require in a man. Feel free to rip them apart suggest some others:

Breathing. (alive is preferred. See, I’m not that picky…)

Decent job. (Burger King does not apply.)

Nice smile. (My #1 physical requirement.)

Great sense of humor. (The way to my heart is through laughter.)

Must like cats. (Or dogs, but I have cats… if you don’t like cats, you won’t like me, and subsequently, I might not like you.)

Appreciate music. (Of all types. If you only listen to the latest dance/club beats, we won’t have much to discuss.)

Love sex. (Let’s face it, I’m a horny guy. I need a horny guy. And I’d prefer to be horny with a guy that wants me as much as I want him.)

Love kissing and holding hands. (In bed, in public, on the street, on the rooftop, at the mall.. I don’t care. If I like ya, I want to show you… and it doesn’t matter where.)

Love long walks along the beach. (You don’t seriously think I mean that, do you?)

Like my friends. (I would hope that any man I date or fall in love with would enjoy my friends as much as I do. I don’t want to be one of those guys that meets someone and abandons his friends for him. That’d be a mighty lonely existence.)

Be close to my age. (I would generally say that my preferences range from the late 20s to the early 40s. Anything too far out of that range is just that– too far.)

So there are some criteria… it’s time to take some next steps. Anything else I should add… or subtract? (The long walks is a joke, folks. I mean it’s nice and all, but it’s just so cliche.)