2005 was not a banner year for a lot of people, myself included. I’m glad to see the fucker go. I’m actually hoping the door booted it in the ass on the way out. That’s how much it sucked.
Oh sure, there were good points to the year, and most of them had to do with my friends and how much they meant to me. Without them, I don’t know how I would have gotten through it.
So here is a point/counterpoint of RcktMan’s Year in Review, and what I plan to do in 2006 to make each situation better.
Part 1- Family and Friends
Good: I strengthened the friendships I’ve been cultivating over the last few years, and for once in my life have a group of people I can truly consider very good, dear friends.
Bad: My family survived the year, but my dad’s health is still declining. I continually worry about him and hate that he is suffering. My mom is kicking along wonderfully, and started a new job, but caring for my dad is getting harder and harder for her. My sister and her husband are doing well, but her recent diagonsis with Celiac Disease has taken its toll on them. It’s been a hard year for all of us.
In 2006: I plan to be an even better friend and son. I will call people more, make more of a commitment to my relationships with people, and focus less on myself and more on others. I will do more to make sure my mom and dad are taken care of, and continually tell him how much I love him and how much he means to me. I’ll also support my sister as she adjusts to life without gluten-based foods. (I don’t know how I would survive!)
Part 2- Me
Good: In 2005, I accepted myself much more for who I am and what I am, and tried hard to not feel sorry for myself for the things I’m not, or the mistakes I’ve made in the past. This helped me to be a happier person overall, stopping short of all that helping me make some major life changes.
Bad: My plans to lose weight went up and down faster than Paris Hilton in an elevator (and the elevator isn’t moving in this scenario, either.) By 2005’s end I still feel like a house and I’m tired of it. Although I may have a “if you don’t like me because I don’t havea six-pack, then screw you” attitude, I still want at least a 3-pack. Hell, a 2-pack would be nice, but I’d be afraid of getting shot by some gangbangers. (Lame joke.)
In 2006: My #1 resolution of the year is to join Weight Watchers, and this WILL HAPPEN. I have teamed up with a few guys from the Chorus who are sick and tired of all the skinny bitches in the world (most of whom are our friends, mind you) getting all the attention. We are going to our first meeting on Saturday, January 14. My lifelong hatred of gyms is coming to a close as well, and I will be joining one very soon. Don’t know which one yet, but it will happen. As the fat drains off my body and the muscle clings to where the fat was, watch out folks. By this time next year I’ll be the same person inside, but a much different person on the outside.I can’t wait!!!
Part 3- Relationships
Good: I had a couple nice dating experiences in 2005; one of which actually was a short-lived steady situation. It ended rather abruptly, however, shortly after this date, and I never could figure out why. More on that later, though. The other dating experience was wonderful and exciting, but it, too, ended abruptly after… well, after the one date. Does this really belong in the “Good” column?
Bad: It’s been nearly FOUR years since I broke up with my ex, and I still can’t get it together in the dating world. I’ve tried to go through the year with a positive outlook about it and not get depressed and down on myself, but it’s been hard. On one hand, I don’t want to date someone just for the sake of dating him, and to tell all of my friends that I’m dating someone (like some people do), but on the other hand, when some people do this, I have to wonder “how the hell do they find all these guys to date???” Still, however, I’d rather have my friends and family (and kitties) in my life than have someone that didn’t truly love me for all that I am (and even all that I am not).
In 2006: Well, this seems like a perfect opportunity to mention that I have a date tonight (:-)) … with the guy from early 2005 that abruptly ended. We reconnected last night and I’m rather excited to say that we were both in a not-so-good place at the time, so we’re both interested in trying again. I’m not going to say much more– just that dinner tonight should be very pleasant. 🙂 Other than that, I resolve in 2006 to make my dating life much more active and interesting… even if it is with the same person all the time. 🙂
Part 4- Blogging
Good & Bad: It’s been an exciting and challenging year for my little corner of the Internet.
The exciting things included the birth of “RcktMan’s Launching Pad“ and the retirement of “RcktRamblings.” (Some of you STILL need to change your links… hello?!?) They also included my participation in “Discuss It!“- a topical and challenging discussion board on topics ranging from politics to news to whatever comes to mind. It’s been a huge success, and I’ve been honored to be a part of its evolution. Other exciting developments included the crazy number of visitors after posting hot, sexy pictures of guys to the site. After much deliberation, I decided that hits were hits… so the hot guys will stay. 😉 The final exciting thing was the discovery of Podcasting and my enjoyment of two podcasts in particular- Feast of Fools and PNSExplosion. They, and all my blogfriends out there, have both helped me through some dark times. Thanks, everyone!
The challenging things included, mainly, my upkeep and level of excitement about blogging in general. I’ve had moments where I’ve wanted to throw in the towel and give it all up– but then, who hasn’t? This isn’t easy. It isn’t child’s play. If you choose to, you can bare every inch of your soul in front of millions of eyes each day, and it’s sometimes hard to decide what to share, and how far is “too far.” I’d like to think I’ve never crossed into the “too far” category on my blog, but I’ve come frightenly close. It’s safe to say that I don’t share everything in my life with you all here, and I know many of you who read this and have blogs of your own do the same thing. But sometimes it is hard to even come up with a paragraph. So that’s been the main challenge. The other challenge has been trying to figure out the voice of “RcktMan’s Launching Pad.” Am I a diary? Am I a topical blog? Am I all about pictures of hot sweaty guys? The answer is– Yes. It’s all of that. It’s a mishmash, and I like that. And that’s how it will continue to be in 2006.
Summary: Resolutions are made to be malleable. Nothing is ever set in stone. Life changes and you have to roll with the punches. I think I’ve done a fairly good job of doing that, not only the last year, but in the last 35 years of my life. As I enter this 36th year (groan), I do it with an overall positive outlook. Because that, my friends, is the only way you can survive in this lifetime.
So to you, my friends, my readers, the people I don’t even know, and the people just stopping by– I wish you a wonderful, happy, safe and prosperous 2006. Even if you don’t get everything you want in life, I hope you at least get a taste. You deserve it as much as I do. Happy New Year!