White men should not say "Bling Bling"

I’m not going to lie here, folks. I’m white. I’m so white I glow.

I know where my limitations are. I can sing with some soul and some feeling. I can dance to an extent.

But there is a point where you just have to say… dude… you’re white.

Stop trying to be otherwise.

Case in point- a co-worker of mine today looked at a girl’s watch and exclaimed,

“Damn, that’s some bling-bling you have there.”

Now I want to state here that I am not, in any way, shape or form, a racist. I love my friends of all colors, creeds and backgrounds.

But when a white boy… whiter than I am, whiter than the whitest white snow in winter, is saying these things….

He just sounds dumb.

I mean… I know there are some people out there that grew up talking that way. I understand that, and it’s cool. It works for them. But this guy is just not one of those people. He’s a bespectacled, nerdish, sweetheart of a guy… that sounds really, really stupid when he says things like “Bling bling.”

Other favorites that I’ve heard (and even said, and cringed after saying) are…

“Getting jiggy”
“Yo homie”
“You lookin’ fly”
and the queen mother king of them all

People… it’s time to face facts. You can tan all you want to, but you’re still going to be white. All you’re going to do is make yourself look foolish– not cool.

Leave the slang to the cool kids. Embrace your dorkness.