Flashbacks

Even though I try not to anymore, I found myself sitting here just now, wondering what to write about.

I’ve come to the conclusion as of late that if I ever have that feeling, I’m simply not going to write. There isn’t any reason why I MUST post something every single day of the week. There is no rule that says this is so. So why force myself? It isn’t worth the strained effort, and the end result is usually not worth reading anyway.

So I closed the “Compose” window and started reading some blogs. I started with Joe.My.God., who, I must confess, I haven’t read for a while. It’s funny how blogging goes in cycles– both in terms of writing and reading. I have a long list of “blogs I read,” yet I am embarrassed to say that I haven’t read many of them in quite some time. It’s not intentional, and I feel badly about that.

So I was reading Joe.My.God. and he was telling a story about clubs and people in the early to mid-90’s, and I was reminded of the days and the times when I first came out, drenching myself in too much cheesy cologne, driving from Kenosha to Chicago, and hitting the clubs.

This past Monday, I attended a special event that was co-hosted by my Chorus and the cast of Wicked. It was a “Broadway Cares” event to raise funds for various HIV/AIDS charities as well as the Chorus. I, along with 11 other members of the Chorus, was chosen to sing a few numbers for the crowd in a show that also featured members of the “Wicked” cast. It was a great event, tons of fun, and it raised a heck of a lot of money for all the groups.

Attending this event was an old friend… someone I haven’t seen in a couple of years, but I have known for well over ten years. We were AOL chat buddies, bar pals, and even roommates for the first year that I lived in the city.

Seeing him brought back a flood of memories.

When I first met him, I had a huge crush on him. Which wasn’t uncommon, as everyone seemed to develop a crush on him the first time they met him. He was fun-loving, carefree and a bit naieve in those days, having fairly recently come out. His windswept hair and icy green eyes laughed about as much as he himself did– which was almost all of the time.

My crush on him almost ruined our friendship. I remember vividly a party where I became insanely jealous when he disappeared with another friend of mine for a few hours. I wanted so desperately to disappear with him myself, but never had the courage to make it happen.

But eventually, I got over my obsession with him, and somehow we became friends. We’d talk on the phone, chat on AOL, go out to bars, and just have a great time.

Then he moved to Philadelphia. I was sad to see him go, but glad that we could at least keep in touch via Email. When he returned to Chicago a couple years later, we started hanging out again. He got an apartment in Boystown, which became my crashing spot after many a night on the town. We became closer friends in those years, and I was glad that my crazy antics from a few years prior hadn’t ruined our friendship.

When I got the job that would move me to Chicago, he brought up the possibility of being roommates. So we did the roommate thing for a year. That whole story is told in the “Old Journal” which you can start reading here. I won’t go into all that again.

So he and I had a close bond for many years, and had a great time together. But in recent years, as we both moved on with our own lives, we drifted apart. And even though, as many people do, we tried to keep in touch… we just didn’t.

But seeing him again at the event was really great. We caught up on things, and shared a couple drinks. I’m thinking we should do dinner sometime and just reconnect. It’d be great to have an old friend back in my life.

Advertisements