While browsing a certain website, I found him.
The ex. The one I told the story about a month ago.
He’s with his mom. I could tell by the location on his profile.
So I sent him a note asking him where he has been and why he couldn’t contact me.
He replied saying he was embarrassed to contact me.
And that he had AIDS.
And they can’t find anything to help him.
He has the new strain that is drug-resistant.
And I felt guilty for being angry with him, but I’m still angry with him. Because the reason he gave me for disappearing and not contacting me was that he was embarrassed. Embarrassed to tell me the truth. And embarrassed because he got himself into this mess in the first place.
I told him how I felt, but I also told him that he shouldn’t have been embarrassed to tell me anything. People who care don’t stop caring when things go wrong. That’s why they care.
I still have his things… I never gave them away. I knew he’d be back, and I didn’t want him to lose more than he had already lost in his lifetime. Because he has lost an awful lot already.
But I told him that I could not trust him again. He had betrayed my trust one too many times. And nothing would change that. He understood why I felt that way.
So in that respect, I feel like I made the right decisions.
But it still doesn’t hurt any less.