Six Month Review

It’s been six months since I started this blog.

It’s time for a review of the effect it’s had on my life, and what I want it to become in the future.

No, this isn’t something that was brought upon by an event that recently occured in my life, or after some sort of long, soul-searching, introspective look at myself. It’s just something I’ve thought about lately.

Well, that and I just haven’t really posted anything lately. 🙂

When I started this blog, my first intention was to revisit the journal that I kept when I first moved to Chicago from 1997-1998. The basic format of that journal was a recount of each day’s activities, good or bad, and the people I came across on a daily basis.

This time around, I wasn’t quite sure how much of myself I would share, because there’s always a tendency with these sorts of things to share too much. And I wasn’t sure what “too much” was yet. I still don’t. Saying that, I’m not even quite sure what “just enough” is.

The next thing I needed to figure out was who I was writing this information for. Was it for me, so I could look back and recount everything that happened in my life? Or was it for others, to be entertained by my foibles, trials and tribulations?

The answer to that question evolved to become twofold. 99.9% of what I write is because of what I am feeling at any given time about any given situation. I could write about a bad day I’d had at work. I could gush about a wonderful occurrence in my life. I could share a story about something that touched my life in a special way. Or I could just ramble on about whatever was crossing my mind at that particular moment in time. In turn, these things could be shared with you, who reads it and, hopefully, you can come away with either a better understanding of who I am, or maybe, possibly, a better understanding of yourself. So therefore, I write for myself first, and you get the residuals. I think that’s a fair trade.

But sometimes it’s hard. It’s hard to share everything about myself that I’d like to. Do I censor myself? Yes. Absolutely. There are things that I just can’t bring myself to share with the world. I’ve seen people get hurt by sharing too much. Do I wish that were different? Sometimes, yes. I think that if I opened up a bit more, I’d connect with more people. But for now, I protect myself and others by staying the course and not getting to far into my own self.

That’s not so say that I won’t change my mind about that in the future. I may wake up one day and say “Damn it, I’ve been a fool!” and spew forth all the things I’ve been bottling up inside. But for now, let’s just say “what you see is what you get” and leave it at that.

The incredible thing that happened as a result of starting this blog was the cadre of wonderful people that I met along the way. Up until now, you’ve been voices on the phone or words on my screen, but the personalities behind the voices and words are some of the most beautiful and wonderful I have come across in many a year. I’m looking forward to meeting as many of you in the flesh as possible in the upcoming year, and making even more friends along the way.

Finally, I invite… welcome… encourage… ok.. DEMAND comments! Hello folks, I’m a GAY MAN. I have an EGO and it needs STROKING. (Yes, I said stroking. Comment away.) Feedback is essential to what I put up here. Do I share too much? Do I share too little? Do you hate my writing? Do you think I’m ugly? Do you think I’m sexy? Cause if you want my body and you think I’m sexy, COME ON SUGAR, LET ME KNOW! (Sorry, I don’t wear gold lame’ pants, so don’t ask.)

Where do I see all of this going in the future? Well first of all, I want a redesign. I need a new look. The thing is, I want to do it. I just don’t know how. I have an idea of what I want it to look like, and can create the layout in Photoshop or Illustrator, but I am just not good at executing the final result. So… if you are a talented blog designer and would like to make my idea into a reality, we need to talk. 🙂 Then, I plan on transfering the whole doggone thing to www.rcktman.com once and for all.

Will I ever be a major blog success? Will I win awards or even be nominated? Honestly… I don’t care. I’m not looking for glory. I just want a place where I can express myself and share myself with people who care. If glory happens, COOL. If not, So be it.

So… that ends the six month review. I hope you like what you’re getting so far. I hope to share more in the future. We shall see what the next six months bring.

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