I think you forgot someone in that big car giveaway on your first show for this season. Didn’t you get my letter?
My car is a true, proverbial “piece of shit” car. It’s been hit 3 times, all while parked. It needs an oil change. It needs new brakes. I can’t afford all this crap on my salary, with all the other things I have to pay for in life.
While you’re at it, there’s a few other things I could use. Could you get your people on these?
Ä¢ A new condo, preferably a penthouse, on Lake Shore Drive, overlooking Lake Michigan. I like lots of windows.
Ä¢ A new bike. Mine is broken. Top of the line only, please.
Ä¢ I would love a new wardrobe. No, not a place to put my clothes. New clothes. Lots of them!
Ä¢ Free groceries would be nice. How about a lifetime supply, home-delivered? Whee!
Ä¢ Nate Berkus’s phone number. C’mon, you know he’s gay. Plus I think he’d really like me. A lot.
Ä¢ While you’re at it, my mom and dad could use a new house. So could my sister and her husband.
Ä¢ Could you help me find a husband too? I know you can, Oprah.
Now Oprah, girlfriend, I know I’m not a woman. So that reduces the chances that I’d get anything by some 99.9%. But I am gay, Oprah. You know you love the boys. C’mon, girl. Get crackin’.
Oh and if I come on your show and don’t get anything- anything at all, I’m gonna be mighty pissed.
But I do still love you Oprah. Really.
You go girl.
Shopping, that is.
Oprah? Why don’t you get your cake AND eat it, too, and find a nice, rich, sugar daddy 😉
I have heard Nate Berkus’ name in the same sentence with “nose candy” more times than I’d like to think about.
And I’m speaking as a man who almost got fixed up with him once. So I’m an expert.
Oprah? Why don’t you get your cake AND eat it, too, and find a nice, rich, sugar daddy 😉
I have heard Nate Berkus’ name in the same sentence with “nose candy” more times than I’d like to think about.
And I’m speaking as a man who almost got fixed up with him once. So I’m an expert.
Rick, that was brilliant! :o)
Rick, that was brilliant! :o)
haha…so funny..she forgot me also 🙂
haha…so funny..she forgot me also 🙂
Oprah’s good but she’s not Jeannie or Samantha, babycakes. 🙂
Joel – I have enough trouble finding a date… 🙂
Jake – Ew. But he’s still hot.
Pua – Thanks 🙂
Brechi – Hi! Thanks for the comment… and yes, she forgot a lot of us. *sigh*… maybe next time.
Scott – So true. Oprah could only DREAM of being that fabulous. 🙂
Has she lost weight, or is that a really slimming suit?
Oprah’s good but she’s not Jeannie or Samantha, babycakes. 🙂
Joel – I have enough trouble finding a date… 🙂
Jake – Ew. But he’s still hot.
Pua – Thanks 🙂
Brechi – Hi! Thanks for the comment… and yes, she forgot a lot of us. *sigh*… maybe next time.
Scott – So true. Oprah could only DREAM of being that fabulous. 🙂
Has she lost weight, or is that a really slimming suit?
Flip- Not sure if she’s lost weight… maybe it’s that new “kicky” hairdo of hers. (with snaps to
Tuna Girl there.)
Flip- Not sure if she’s lost weight… maybe it’s that new “kicky” hairdo of hers. (with snaps to
Tuna Girl there.)