My Experiences With Men – Part II

Last night, I met another AOL Boy out for drinks at Sidetrack.

As you may recall, I had a disastrous outing with the last such AOL-type guy.

This time was not much different. Aside from the drunken part.

This time, the meetee (I being the meet-er) was much younger… 9 years younger than me in fact. Except he should have been 19 years younger. He was young in just about every way possible… as in naive. As in he still lives with his parents. As in he just wasn’t right for me.

I’ve been chatting with this boy for probably over 4 years on AOL. We haven’t necessarily been the greatest, closest of chat buddies. I would sign on, he’d say “Hi, how are you?” and I’d say “Fine thanks” and trade a few updates and that’d be it.

I should have known meeting him would be a bad idea. When we would chat, he would get frustrated if I didn’t respond right away, and would get upset if I didn’t have much to say. He always would try to pry information out of me (or so I thought.) To be honest, I found him irritating. But yet, I was cordial and always nice to him.

I knew he had a crush on me. I don’t mean that to sound arrogant or anything… it’s just a feeling I had.

Apparently I was right.

A few nights ago, he caught me online again. The same banal conversation ensued, and finally he said, “When are we going to meet?”

I must have been tired or weak or whatever. I said, “How about Thursday?”

So we agreed to meet at Sidetrack at 10 PM.

I know what you’re thinking right now.

“Rick, how evil of you. Leading this poor kid on. You knew you weren’t interested in him. Why put him through this?”

Uh-uh. I am not evil. I just wanted to get this over with. Is that evil? I don’t think so. Maybe he would end up being a sweet guy, and I’d fall madly in love with him and we’d live happily ever after.

Or not…

Thursday arrived, and I got home from work on time. I was tired, still feeling lousy, coughing, sneezing, sniffling, overall feeling miserable. I didn’t want to go.

He called at 9:15 PM.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m making dinner, what are you doing?”

“I just got done with work… I was wondering if you wanted to do something 45 minutes early.”

“Uh… no… I am going to make dinner first.”

“Oh… ok….” he sounded dejected already. (Oh great.)

“I’ll meet you there between 10 and 10:30.. ok?”

“OK, see you there.”

(OK… I REALLY didn’t want to go now.)

I finished dinner, got changed and checked a few messages online (Damn that Tribe for being so addictive!)

He called at 10:30 right on the nose.

“Where are you?”

“I was just about to leave…”

“OK, I’m here.”

I had no choice. I was committed. I had to go now.

So I got there and we met, finally.

OK. He is a nice guy. But he’s just not my type. Like I said, he’s very young. He’s very naive. Comparatively, I have been around the block… many, many times.

It was Comedy Night at Sidetrack. He had never been before. (He lives out in Crystal Lake, a very far-away suburb, with his PARENTS.) I had to explain most of the routines being shown to him. He either didn’t get the humor or had never heard of half of them. (Thankfully he knew Mommie Dearest, or I would have had to have left. Immediately.)

Then he got touchy-feely.

You may recall the last time this happened. I didn’t like it then and I didn’t like it this time either. In no way was I giving him the signals that I was at all interested in being touchy-felt. Yet he persisted. An arm around the shoulder, a touch on the back, a hug at a moment that didn’t really need a hug. Standing MUCH too close.

He was like a puppy that craved attention. And I wasn’t in the mood for another pet.

Now don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t mean to him or anything. In fact, I tried to keep the conversation going and keep things as light as possible. But he must have sensed that I wasn’t in the mood to be… snuggly. So he got self-conscious and finally said,

“Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“Well… in a way, yes. I came here to meet you… but I’m not comfortable with the touchy-feely stuff.”

“OH ok.. I’m so sorry.” He immediately got distant and self-conscious.

I felt bad… for a minute. And then I decided it was getting late and I had to go home.

So I said good night, gave him a hug goodbye, and left.

In hindsight, maybe I should have been up-front and said “Look, I’m not really looking to date you. I just am here to meet you as a friend. I don’t want to give you the wrong idea. I hope that’s ok.”

But I didn’t do that… and now I feel a little guilty. And why is it that these guys that I’m not so interested in are so touchy-feely but guys that I’m ga-ga over want nothing to do with me? Men are so damn confusing.

Of course, I don’t help that situation any by being so … me.