My sordid night on the town

Sex! Lies! Passion!

Oh I could be such a smutmonger if I wanted to be. Alas, aside from a few failed attempts online, there was no sex to be had. Sorry.

However, there were plenty of flirtations at Sidetrack last night.

I met up with Rafael, my friend who watched my cats while I was in Montreal, for some drinks and showtunes. I also had plans to meet a guy I had been chatting with on AOL for the last few days. So I had plenty of bases covered.

I ran into AOL Guy first, and he offered to buy me a drink. First impressions being what they are, he was attractive, but he didn’t stop me in my tracks. I greeted him with the customary hug and said I was also looking for a friend and would be back in a minute. He said he’d wait for my return.

I found Rafael in the adjoining room and told him about the AOL guy. Of course, he accused me of being the “Second string” guy to the AOL Guy, but I assured him that he clearly was main reason I was there.

So back to AOL Guy, who by this time had downed a few too many bottles of Miller Lite. He was attractive in a baked-in-the-sun-too-long kind of way, and nice enough. So I accepted his drink (also a Miller Lite, not my favorite, but I wasn’t going to complain at the prospect of free alcohol) and chatted a while. He introduced me to some of his friends (Thing about me #101 – I am horrible at remembering names.) and watched videos and boys and that was about it.

Eventually Rafael found us and I introduced Rafael to AOL Guy (more to the point, I said “This is my friend Rafael” and let Rafael introduce himself. I admit, I forget the guy’s name. I am so lame.) Also in the group was Richard, another Chorus guy. I sort of wedged myself between Raf & Richard, keeping AOL Guy at bay.

But then he made his move.

First his hand was on my ass… then wrapped around my back, then he was getting all touchy feely in ways that I wasn’t too comfortable with. Now don’t get me wrong, normally, I wouldn’t mind being touchy feeled in public if it was with someone I liked or was really interested in. However, this quickly was not becoming the case with (Increasingly Drunken) AOL Guy.

Finally he had me from behind, wrapping his arms around my waist and tickling me. I’d had enough. I was facing Rafael and said “Help!”

He didn’t hear that one, and (I.D.) AOL Guy had me in a Half-Nelson chokehold sort of thing on the floor at this point. I pleaded a little louder, “HELP!”

Rafael suggested we go to the roof deck. I gladly obliged.

(I.D.) AOL Guy seemed disappointed, but at that point I didn’t care. I told him I’d be right back. (Oops!)

He caught me later on, and looked dejected, slurring his words. By now he was simply Drunken AOL Guy.

Drunken AOL Guy: “Sscho, what’sss wrong?”

Me: “Well I was just a little uncomfortable. You were a bit too touchy-feely for me.”

D.A.G.: “Oh… I’m sschorry”

M: “Don’t worry about it.”

*lengthy, uncomfortable pause*

D.A.G.: “Well, I sschould prob’ly go ffind my ffriendssss”

M: “OK, bye!”

And that was the last I saw of Drunken AOL Guy.

After I got rid of him, I ran into Terence, who is someone I have always had a crush on (and slept with a few times as well). He was being overly flirtatious. I was being overly receptive. But Raf was around and I didn’t want to be a complete whore and forget about him, so I controlled myself. And then he went home. Dammit.

Then, I ran into Jonathan.

Backstory: Jonathan is this studly dude that I met at a party a few months earlier. He’s Chicago born n’ raised, and I initially thought he was straight, only to find out (to my pleasant surprise) that he was gay after talking to him for a while. We shared a kinship over our mutual friend’s record collection. (That’s LP’s, not CD’s.) But, just when I was developing the hots for him, he mentions his boyfriend.


Anyway, we exchanged Emails and kept in touch for a while, but lost touch after a bit.

A few days ago, he Emailed me again, and said he was moving up near me. I thought that was curious, since I knew he lived with his partner. But I didn’t pry. He also mentioned a roommate that he hardly knows. I grew even more curious. We agreed to go to a Cubs game together in a couple weeks (Gay Days at Wrigley) so I felt a glimmer of hope.

Then I ran into him last night.

Turns out that he has, indeed, broken up with his (now-ex) boyfriend, who turned out to be a psycho (don’t they all?) and a loser (speak the truth, brother) and a user (AMEN!) In fact, he just got done moving into his new closet of an apartment and stopped by the bar for a few drinks. And there I was to comfort him.

I know what you’re thinking.

You: Comfort him means bring him home to have your way with him, you floozy.

Me: Who, ME?

You: Yeah, you… you’d be online looking for sex anyway, and now it’s fallen RIGHT IN YOUR LAP (so to speak)!

Me: I think you have me confused with someone else.

I had no such intentions. Honestly. But we did spend the rest of the night together at the bar, talking about bad Ex experiences and sharing life stories. And making catty comments about people and videos playing at the bar. It was fun. And we are getting together to see the Cubs game in a couple weeks. So the night was not a bust, at all.

Even though I went home alone and sat online for another 3 hours.

I am a good boy… honest!